Tag: time

Hold on for one more day

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts, Poetry

#Soulmuze #SuicidePrevention #SoulfulStoryTellersInc #StrongerThanUThink #TalkToAStranger #HoldOnForOneMoreDay #Sunshine #YouCanHelpSaveAnother #YouAreNotAlone #Talk

Until you have reached a point of no return and truly contemplated ‘Do I want to keep on living?’ you will never know the strength required to take your own life. Just like those who make that decision never knew how strong they really were. We will never know how many of them may have realized that they really wanted to live as they were dying.

Do not judge those who committed suicide. Do not chalk it up to ‘they have been dealing with anxiety, depression and/or taking medication for years.’ It’s not cut and dry, emotional pain, depression and heartbreak can’t be fixed with a pill. Recovery is not over night.

Look to the clouds overhead there’s an Angel who’s hoping you heed the words that’s about to be said…

When thoughts of suicide pop into your head remember your worth more alive than dead.

Lifeless body covered with a white sheet

What made you take that final leap?

Were you confused? Abused? Hurt? Afraid?

Was that the only choice you could have made?

We often think to end our life will be the end of the problem

But often times it escalates it to those you left behind.

They carry the burden,the sadness, the pain of your actions.

Death does not always bring closure or satisfaction.

It’s easy to say ‘it will get better one day’

When you’re not the one suffering emotional, physically, mentally

There is not a one word phrase or answer that can give you the strength you need to persevere

When the fight in you is gone its harder to hold on

But should you allow yourself to live for another day you are one step closer to beating the demons that try to take your life way

Hold on just once more and you open the door to life a little more.

Hang in there please stay for you can live to help extend someone else’s life another day.

©️ Soulmuze 2018

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after …

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspirations #MySoulSpeaks #SelfDiscovery #ChewOnThis #Pencils #Change #SpillingInkUsingLead #SpilledInk

The first $20 I ever made was performing at the Billie Holiday Theatre at the Restoration Plaza located in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. I played Peppermint Patty in “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” with my JHS Drama club. The entire cast was paid equally and it was amazing. I took that $20 and opened my first bank account at the now defunct Chemical Bank which was also in the Restore, that was in 1977. Kitura, Walter, Darryl, Yolanda, Lamar, Sheila, just to name a few of my cast mates; our Music/Drama teacher Ms. Powell who did all of this with/for us on her own dime, back then teachers gave of their personal time without per session pay.

I almost sound like Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo in the Golden Girls ‘Picture it: Brooklyn 1977…’ lol

What an amazing feeling! I remember we were all celebrities for our brief run on our very own little Bed-Stuy Broadway! Everything was about community back then.

To this day I still love the Peanuts gang. We enjoyed the stories and didn’t see their colors or gender identities, just kids; plain and simple.

I never realized the lessons I was learning thru it all: teamwork, patience, sharing the spotlight, finding our voices, recognizing our individual talents, encouraging each other and so much more.

There are so many things I loved about that musical but as I grow older the one thing that stands out the most is the ensemble song Happiness, the first line is “Happiness is finding a pencil.” It truly was for Charlie Brown for when the pretty little red headed girl dropped her pencil, he picked it up, saw teeth marks and knew she was human.

“I’m so happy. That little red-headed gril dropped her pencil.It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil. She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all.” Charlie Brown, You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

I have my own little chewed up pencil with it’s equally little eraser and I never hesitate to correct my mistakes, I’m only human.

My bite marks on the pencil represent the release of panic, anxiety and putting thought into my every action. When it’s needed and I’m ready (for change isn’t easy) I find my pencil , I erase and start over again with renewed confidence.

I save each worn down pencil to remind me of how far I have come, how much I have accomplished.

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after pencil after…

Dedicated to one BAMF-CDC who has found his pencil after pencil after…

©️ Soulmuze 2018

To Die is to live

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #ToDieIsToLive

“You needn’t die happy when your time comes, but you must die satisfied, for you have lived your life from the beginning to the end . . .” Stephen King, The Dark Tower

It’s easy to grow fearful of your impending death as each passing day someone suddenly dies. They are not old, or have some disease/illness, they just transitioned and you connect because you are close in age.

You must live each moment to satisfaction. Only you will answer for your deeds.

Those you loved may miss you dearly, but they will find solace in the memories.

Those you hurt may find closure in your death, for now you no longer have the opportunity to hurt anyone else or them again.

Those who are indifferent towards you are probably the ones you have wronged the most for there are no more feelings; a void. Odds are they continue to make other people pay for the hole you left behind.

As you prepare for a #newday, a new moment, a new year keep in mind the satisfaction of living. Recognize that it’s not just the satisfaction of self; each one of us has a direct impact on the next.

Just like a tree, we are connected at the roots.

Strength to the families whose loved ones have transitioned.

Blessings to new #births; for when a pair of #eyes closed a new pair has opened.

Soulfully speaking

©️Soulmuze 2015

Photo credit Soulmuze, Sandy Hook 2017

Do it just because…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #UnselfishActs #ExpectNothing #ItsAChoice

❤️ I had to remind myself of this yesterday and this pops up today. I believe we are sent messages and too often we ignore them but not I.

When you willing give so much of yourself and dedicate yourself to someone you naturally expect the same from them in return. However, that’s not always the case.

Your actions are just that, yours, it’s a choice. You made the choice, you own said choice and you accept the risk-reward that accompanies it.

If we put it in a business context we can easily understand and accept. You take the risk, invest $10k in stock the market, it does well and your investment doubles, you enjoy the reward. You continue to take the risk and let it all ride, the next day the market tanks you not only lost your profit but your initial investment, you have nothing. Who do you blame? The stock market is volatile you knew that going in… well?

Life is volatile. People are volatile. Mother Nature is volatile. No matter how much you try to filter out the weeds they still find their way through. You prepare, you plan, you purposely pursue yet and still you seem to be standing in the same oddly shaped unidentified geometric spot. Stuck in the middle of what appears to be your private unique lonely universe. You’re yelling out imprecations but no one can hear you. Or maybe they do but don’t care because they got what they wanted from you already.

Before you gave of yourself did you question ‘what do I get out of this, what’s my return on this investment?’ Did you think about the risk-reward?

We are so busy rushing through this life creating our own expectations of others, blaming others for not meeting our expectations which we never communicated in the first place. We expect everyone to just know, be mind readers, common sense, telepathy… WE ARE ALL UNIQUE so is there really such thing as common sense? What do we really fucking know anyway? Everyone writes their script as they go. We can’t even erase shit properly, we can still see the outlines of the past, and end up tracing it over just changing character names… same Script Different Cast.

Yet and still this is life… Highs, lows, joy and pain, sunshine and rain. You make the choice, to take the chance, don’t expect the same in return from the person(s) for whom you are engaging.

Whatever you do, do it without expectations. Do it because you choose to. Do it for the joy of helping someone. Do it just because…

©Soulmuze 2017

Look towards the horizon

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

“The vastness of the universe and the power of Mother Nature is a constant reminder that we must look towards the horizon with clean hands, a pure heart and unfiltered lenses.

One cannot continually focus on the here and now for that has already become the past and then.” (#Soulmuze) #Soulspiration #SoulfullySpeaking #UniversalLaw #MotherNatureSpeaks

Photo Credit C. Castro location Rionegro, Antioquia

(c) Soulmuze 2017

Don’t just open, read

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts


"I'm the book people always opened but never read."

Maybe the table of contents is overwhelming or the preface is beyond their comprehension. However, one should not be afraid to venture beyond the surface – if they are granted access may I add. Access is granted if genuine interest is shown; not for gossip, not for mockery, not for destruction but for insight with the intent to bond.

As we go through the chapters we may discover similarities or talents or that we are just hot grease and Pepsi but can amicably yet silently create boundaries for our relationship.

One will never learn if one never goes beyond opening the book.

Photo Credit: Google Images
(c) Soulmuze 2017

Malik from son to sun

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Poetry

Malik, I remember sitting on your grandmother’s steps on a warm night in June with your mother. She was 8 months pregnant and in full bloom. There was no doubt you would be a big boy, based on the size of her belly. We talked about different things but two things I always remembered from that night was her saying, ‘this baby always make me feel like I have to go to the bathroom,’ at that I couldn’t stop laughing. Guess it didn’t help that she looked like a cute Buddha sitting on the steps. The other, was when I asked, ‘so what brand of diapers are going to use?’ We both said at the same time, “Huggies!” Funny, how the weirdest things stay in your memory, for me those are usually the most valuable. As we grew older we followed the steps as they were ordered for us. I watched you grow and valued the random conversations we had whenever we saw one another. Unlike so many, you owned your mistakes and was always working on a resolution. Sometimes you would get angry when we spoke because success wasn’t coming fast enough. You just wanted the perfect place for everyone. Yes, you were an impatient youth but who wasn’t, at least you were not selfish. I can’t leave out how respectful you were, always said hello to my mother and asked her if she needed help with anything as you passed by. Never forgetting the lessons you were taught at home, priceless.

               Well, for some reason you made the decision that your work here was done. Being a true lion, once you make a decision everyone has to go along until further notice. It required great strength to make such a choice, maybe you thought it would create the perfect place for everyone. The results may not have worked exactly as planned, it created more pain from the emptiness you left behind. I think what you missed along the way was, the perfect place is not a place but a foundation that’s built in one thing “love.” You had that all along, but the negative obstacles kept obscuring your view, every time you started removing that obstacle it found a way to reposition itself. We can’t turn back time and if we could, the question then becomes, should we? All is never truly lost, for I am sure that not only a lesson will be revealed but a stronger foundation of love will evolve as a result; someone will not just hear but will listen and you will be acknowledged as a man of strength for that is all that matters.                      

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Blessings, love and light… Soulfully speaking

 Family…

Though his sun has set

Yours must still shine

You all will be together again in time

You will never understand why he chose to leave that way

But know he loved you more each and every day

Wife…

You were his best to his friend

You were his Mrs to his Mr

You were his light to his dark

He will always hold a special place in your heart

His Legacy…

Tell his children do not fear

Celebrate the love you all shared

Your protector…

The ending of his life forces a new normal to begin

He is your watcher and will make sure your lights will never dim

© Soulmuze 2017

Everybody is talking about forgiving…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

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“Time heals all wounds.”

Time… How much of it do we truly have? Wounds heal yet leave a scar to remind us of our injury. So how do we forgive for our scars never truly let us forget? As i think about all the jumbled pain I feel in an effort to find ways of reconciliation I come back to how much more time will I need to heal?

“We never know the day or the hour”

At this rate “When my roll is called up yonder” I will be transitioning with unforgiveness in my heart. Just the thought of that makes me a little more depressed. Many people could care less about letting go of anger, pain and heartbreak. For them it is all part of life, yes this is true, but do we want those things to become part of our death?

Holding on to these negative feelings kills a piece of you every day.  The snowball rolls increasing in size and the more it grows so does the bitterness and disillusionment of ‘how wonderful life can be.’ It chips away at the possibility of fulfilling dreams in this life… To the best of our knowledge THIS is all we have.

“So you live, so you die..”

I don’t want to take the weight of unforgiveness anywhere, do you? How can we be pulled up into the rapture if our hearts are heavy?  How can our spiritual souls travel the astral plains with weighted ankles?

“The longest Psalm has amen…”

We all have differing spiritual beliefs, despite those differences we share the common ground of wanting/needing to remove the weight of emotional pain. If we had the power to turn back time it would be to do things differently so we can release pain and increase love… Love ourselves, a person, a passion.

Time is not limitless, it’s precious and we waste so much of it…. So how do we begin to heal…

The journey of healing and releasing those weights will take on different forms: prayer, meditation, exercise, charity work, music, writing, traveling, speaking … It’s all about replacement. Whatever medium you choose never choose the path of indifference or self -destruction.

When you become indifferent there are no feelings left and you become even more hardened to the world. Those ankle weights rise up weighing down your calves, knees, thighs… You become firmly set, like cement, and you have given power to the darkness.

That darkness fuels your self-destruction… Covering those weights with drugs, alcohol, wanton behaviors that often end up leading to self-assisted death. Pain so deep that the strength to heal is overpowered by the desire to die. You take temporary solace in self-destructive behavior to quiet the voices in your head that remind you of pain and raise the voices of darkness that convince you to eliminate pain by repeating acts of self-destruction. Then one day the voices are no more, you are no more. Did it fix your problem or just extend the cycle of pain to the loved ones you have left grieving, wondering how could I have helped? Why didn’t I listen more, see more…?

“Life is filled with pain and disappointment.”

Oh yes it is, for some more than others. One thing that holds true once you work through the pain and disappointment you can find renewed strength. You can be a voice to others, the ears to listen, the arms to hug, the hope for someone else.

What you needed you can now offer to someone else. When you become an anchor for another they will become an anchor for you.

Back to the beginning…is it that time heals wounds? I guess that’s a personal assessment.  the desire to heal starts within oneself and we must reach out to others so we will not rot within.

For me… My replacements are in motion and if they fail I will find better ones. I have no time to waste on people or things in which we don’t share a mutual level of value.

© Soulmuze 2015