Tag: strength

FALL in LOVE with YOURSELF

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

As #seasons #change so do our feelings. We often recognize how lonely we are, unfulfilled desires, the imperfections in our appearances, not being in a financially secure place, loss of loved ones .. it’s so much that drops on us like a ton of bricks, along with a truck full of cement; crushed, weighed down, flattened.

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I use the terms “US” and “WE” because “YOU” are not alone with these feelings. I feel all of them and more. Never be fooled by a smile they often hide a lot of pain.

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The mask I wear is not of strength but of perseverance; I keep pushing thru hoping I can rise like a #Phoenix from the ashes, that the pieces will not just fall into place but adhere to each other with the glue of permanence.

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Guess what, when I think I have it I discover the glue was water soluble and the salt of my tears just washed over remnants of what was and may never be.

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#Fall with its chilled air and changing colors is reflective of the changes we need to make to push through, pass and go beyond. It reminds us that possibilities exist for the leaves fall leaving bare trees given time they will bud and bloom again.

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Let’s make a commitment to our inner carefree child who believed in magic and spoke positively of “when I grow up.” Let’s fall in love with ourself over and again for that glue is permanent.

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Get 2 thought jars label one negative and the other positive. As you feel the negativity weighing you down, write it down, fold it up as small as you can and put in the negative jar. Then write 3 positive words on 3 separate pieces of paper don’t fold it too small and drop those in the positive jar.

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This will be your visual representation of Positivity exceeding negativity. On New Years Eve burn every paper in your negative jar. On New Year’s Day read all the positive notes. Start the New Year off with love of self.

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I encourage “US” “WE” “YOU” and “I” to romanticize, embrace and love the best of self.

💜

ॐ Soulmuze |

Mistress of Reinvention |

Nexus of the Multiverse |

Decendent of Einstein |

Est. 0724B.C ॐ

💜

What did I do?… Time to burn to resurrect

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Rebirth #RisingfromAsh #Phoenix

“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” Mother to Son by Langston Hughes

My stairs have all broken into fractured pieces and various sized shards have been painfully imbedded into my heart and soul.

Never have I experienced so much pain and heartache at one time back to back to back, day after day after day. I look inwards, outwards, upside down, sideways, forwards, reversing, searching for answers. What did I sow to warrant such return?

I cried out to the universe seeking answers, a sign, a totem, something!! I waited, I waited and still I wait, in return things continue to spiral downhill.

I can retain the mask of a smile but it is damaged, requiring repair as my eyes are marked with dark circles and puffiness that can only be covered by large tinted glasses. I can’t stop the rain so I must succumb to the flood until I have repaid whatever debt that is owed.

I no longer believe in “do unto others” for those I have given my love and support without question or pause have left me to be washed away and practically drown in the rising flood waters.

“You’re strong.” “You got this.” “You’re smart.” “Look how much you have accomplished.” Blah, blah, blah bullshit in my ears.

What? Are you ASSuming I never need??! The strong can never be weak? Can never say I can’t do this? Can never cry, scream or beg for help? Do you not understand why I support the semicolon movement? I considered it because the rainbow wasn’t always enough…

Doing what you have to do has nothing to do with strength, it’s called handling responsibilities. If shards of glass are impaled in my body causing me harm, tearing me to shreds are you going to just watch me die a slow painful death based on an assumption of eternal strength?

I do not assume anyone is eternally strong or an octopus or could be everywhere at once which is why I extend my help when asked or offer help to those I sincerely care about. I will cry with you and for you. I will wipe the snot from your nose. I am not a fair weather friend or lover.

The mind of humans never cease to amaze. If I attempt to step into your shoes, see with your eyes, feel with your heart, listen with your ears why can’t you do the same for me? Walk with those findings and just hold it.

When you have been grounded down to practically nothing the only thing left is to reinvent yourself. I must find a different branch on my tree of life for the fruits of my spirits have been depleted as it has nourished everyone else, now their needs are satiated, I am left dry, withered, wrinkled and empty.

As I select my new branch I will keep all of my spiritual fruits. No more shall I gracefully serve bottomless plates, give pack your to-go box and deliver on a dime. No more will I light your entire path. You will be served only what you serve me. If you serve me nothing I will not starve as have stored my fruits. No more off balanced scales.

Cry I will. Die a thousand deaths I will until I get past this negative magnetic cycle. When the darkness clears I will stand under the burning sun, dance to the music until I go up in flames then resurrect.

9 fruits of the Spirit:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self-Control

“As Beethoven was writing his 9 symphonies the fruits of my spirit danced under the fiery sun until I became nothing but ash and at that moment I was reborn.” Soulmuze

©️Soulmuze 2018

Hold on for one more day

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts, Poetry

#Soulmuze #SuicidePrevention #SoulfulStoryTellersInc #StrongerThanUThink #TalkToAStranger #HoldOnForOneMoreDay #Sunshine #YouCanHelpSaveAnother #YouAreNotAlone #Talk

Until you have reached a point of no return and truly contemplated ‘Do I want to keep on living?’ you will never know the strength required to take your own life. Just like those who make that decision never knew how strong they really were. We will never know how many of them may have realized that they really wanted to live as they were dying.

Do not judge those who committed suicide. Do not chalk it up to ‘they have been dealing with anxiety, depression and/or taking medication for years.’ It’s not cut and dry, emotional pain, depression and heartbreak can’t be fixed with a pill. Recovery is not over night.

Look to the clouds overhead there’s an Angel who’s hoping you heed the words that’s about to be said…

When thoughts of suicide pop into your head remember your worth more alive than dead.

Lifeless body covered with a white sheet

What made you take that final leap?

Were you confused? Abused? Hurt? Afraid?

Was that the only choice you could have made?

We often think to end our life will be the end of the problem

But often times it escalates it to those you left behind.

They carry the burden,the sadness, the pain of your actions.

Death does not always bring closure or satisfaction.

It’s easy to say ‘it will get better one day’

When you’re not the one suffering emotional, physically, mentally

There is not a one word phrase or answer that can give you the strength you need to persevere

When the fight in you is gone its harder to hold on

But should you allow yourself to live for another day you are one step closer to beating the demons that try to take your life way

Hold on just once more and you open the door to life a little more.

Hang in there please stay for you can live to help extend someone else’s life another day.

©️ Soulmuze 2018

My New Journey Begins

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Poetry

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #MyNewJourneyBegins #SpillingInk #MySoulSpeaks #DeathChangesAll #lightpath #LostSouls #Hope

“A heart that is troubled shall be no more.

A soul that is lost will soon find its way.

A flicker of light will provide seas of hope.

May the sweet fragrance of flowers be constant reminder that true beauty is within.

Open your heart and release your light path.”

©️ Photo and words Soulmuze 2018

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after …

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspirations #MySoulSpeaks #SelfDiscovery #ChewOnThis #Pencils #Change #SpillingInkUsingLead #SpilledInk

The first $20 I ever made was performing at the Billie Holiday Theatre at the Restoration Plaza located in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. I played Peppermint Patty in “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” with my JHS Drama club. The entire cast was paid equally and it was amazing. I took that $20 and opened my first bank account at the now defunct Chemical Bank which was also in the Restore, that was in 1977. Kitura, Walter, Darryl, Yolanda, Lamar, Sheila, just to name a few of my cast mates; our Music/Drama teacher Ms. Powell who did all of this with/for us on her own dime, back then teachers gave of their personal time without per session pay.

I almost sound like Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo in the Golden Girls ‘Picture it: Brooklyn 1977…’ lol

What an amazing feeling! I remember we were all celebrities for our brief run on our very own little Bed-Stuy Broadway! Everything was about community back then.

To this day I still love the Peanuts gang. We enjoyed the stories and didn’t see their colors or gender identities, just kids; plain and simple.

I never realized the lessons I was learning thru it all: teamwork, patience, sharing the spotlight, finding our voices, recognizing our individual talents, encouraging each other and so much more.

There are so many things I loved about that musical but as I grow older the one thing that stands out the most is the ensemble song Happiness, the first line is “Happiness is finding a pencil.” It truly was for Charlie Brown for when the pretty little red headed girl dropped her pencil, he picked it up, saw teeth marks and knew she was human.

“I’m so happy. That little red-headed gril dropped her pencil.It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil. She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all.” Charlie Brown, You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

I have my own little chewed up pencil with it’s equally little eraser and I never hesitate to correct my mistakes, I’m only human.

My bite marks on the pencil represent the release of panic, anxiety and putting thought into my every action. When it’s needed and I’m ready (for change isn’t easy) I find my pencil , I erase and start over again with renewed confidence.

I save each worn down pencil to remind me of how far I have come, how much I have accomplished.

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after pencil after…

Dedicated to one BAMF-CDC who has found his pencil after pencil after…

©️ Soulmuze 2018

To Die is to live

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #ToDieIsToLive

“You needn’t die happy when your time comes, but you must die satisfied, for you have lived your life from the beginning to the end . . .” Stephen King, The Dark Tower

It’s easy to grow fearful of your impending death as each passing day someone suddenly dies. They are not old, or have some disease/illness, they just transitioned and you connect because you are close in age.

You must live each moment to satisfaction. Only you will answer for your deeds.

Those you loved may miss you dearly, but they will find solace in the memories.

Those you hurt may find closure in your death, for now you no longer have the opportunity to hurt anyone else or them again.

Those who are indifferent towards you are probably the ones you have wronged the most for there are no more feelings; a void. Odds are they continue to make other people pay for the hole you left behind.

As you prepare for a #newday, a new moment, a new year keep in mind the satisfaction of living. Recognize that it’s not just the satisfaction of self; each one of us has a direct impact on the next.

Just like a tree, we are connected at the roots.

Strength to the families whose loved ones have transitioned.

Blessings to new #births; for when a pair of #eyes closed a new pair has opened.

Soulfully speaking

©️Soulmuze 2015

Photo credit Soulmuze, Sandy Hook 2017

Do it just because…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #UnselfishActs #ExpectNothing #ItsAChoice

❤️ I had to remind myself of this yesterday and this pops up today. I believe we are sent messages and too often we ignore them but not I.

When you willing give so much of yourself and dedicate yourself to someone you naturally expect the same from them in return. However, that’s not always the case.

Your actions are just that, yours, it’s a choice. You made the choice, you own said choice and you accept the risk-reward that accompanies it.

If we put it in a business context we can easily understand and accept. You take the risk, invest $10k in stock the market, it does well and your investment doubles, you enjoy the reward. You continue to take the risk and let it all ride, the next day the market tanks you not only lost your profit but your initial investment, you have nothing. Who do you blame? The stock market is volatile you knew that going in… well?

Life is volatile. People are volatile. Mother Nature is volatile. No matter how much you try to filter out the weeds they still find their way through. You prepare, you plan, you purposely pursue yet and still you seem to be standing in the same oddly shaped unidentified geometric spot. Stuck in the middle of what appears to be your private unique lonely universe. You’re yelling out imprecations but no one can hear you. Or maybe they do but don’t care because they got what they wanted from you already.

Before you gave of yourself did you question ‘what do I get out of this, what’s my return on this investment?’ Did you think about the risk-reward?

We are so busy rushing through this life creating our own expectations of others, blaming others for not meeting our expectations which we never communicated in the first place. We expect everyone to just know, be mind readers, common sense, telepathy… WE ARE ALL UNIQUE so is there really such thing as common sense? What do we really fucking know anyway? Everyone writes their script as they go. We can’t even erase shit properly, we can still see the outlines of the past, and end up tracing it over just changing character names… same Script Different Cast.

Yet and still this is life… Highs, lows, joy and pain, sunshine and rain. You make the choice, to take the chance, don’t expect the same in return from the person(s) for whom you are engaging.

Whatever you do, do it without expectations. Do it because you choose to. Do it for the joy of helping someone. Do it just because…

©Soulmuze 2017

Not living as if it’s my last

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #Sunrise #Sunset #Moonlight #ChildsEyes #ElderStories #WingsOfLove #SpiritualDesign

I’m not concerned with living each day as if it was my last.

My world almost ended countless times yet the universe saw fit to allow me to see the beauty of another sunrise, sunset and the light of the moon.

I’d rather look into a child’s eyes believing in a better tomorrow. I’d rather listen the rattling voices of the elderly as they tell their stories of survival and days gone by.

I’d rather not live with reckless abandon but with purpose. I’d rather live on the wings of love than of fear or hate which breeds contempt.

I’d rather believe that the Gods which covers all within my heart and gives me spiritual insight into the darkness has great work that I must fulfill before this earthly journey is complete and my next one begins.

Yes, I live out of the love of my spiritual design.

(c) Soulmuze 2017

2:22 

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Photo credit: Google images   #Soulmuze #Soulspiration. 

Folks say I gotchu but ya know they blowin’ smoke 

Their words are nuffin’ but farts in the wind, must think u a joke

Leave dem whey dey at 

Keep makin’ ya moves, let em think ya a fool 

As da universe link ya wid a new support crew

2:22 Only one copy was pressed on Vinyl… but it fell and broke… 😂

Don’t be disappointed when you are not supported by those you expected to support you or you have always supported. 

It’s just life’s way of switching you to another path on your tree of life; preparing to change your circle… sometimes #people are #tapped out when it comes to you, vice-versa. 

#Embrace it, #welcome it, be #glad in it!

“To #live requires #growth, to  grow requires change. Once growth stops #death is present.” (Soulmuze)

(c) Soulmuze 2017

Malik from son to sun

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Poetry

Malik, I remember sitting on your grandmother’s steps on a warm night in June with your mother. She was 8 months pregnant and in full bloom. There was no doubt you would be a big boy, based on the size of her belly. We talked about different things but two things I always remembered from that night was her saying, ‘this baby always make me feel like I have to go to the bathroom,’ at that I couldn’t stop laughing. Guess it didn’t help that she looked like a cute Buddha sitting on the steps. The other, was when I asked, ‘so what brand of diapers are going to use?’ We both said at the same time, “Huggies!” Funny, how the weirdest things stay in your memory, for me those are usually the most valuable. As we grew older we followed the steps as they were ordered for us. I watched you grow and valued the random conversations we had whenever we saw one another. Unlike so many, you owned your mistakes and was always working on a resolution. Sometimes you would get angry when we spoke because success wasn’t coming fast enough. You just wanted the perfect place for everyone. Yes, you were an impatient youth but who wasn’t, at least you were not selfish. I can’t leave out how respectful you were, always said hello to my mother and asked her if she needed help with anything as you passed by. Never forgetting the lessons you were taught at home, priceless.

               Well, for some reason you made the decision that your work here was done. Being a true lion, once you make a decision everyone has to go along until further notice. It required great strength to make such a choice, maybe you thought it would create the perfect place for everyone. The results may not have worked exactly as planned, it created more pain from the emptiness you left behind. I think what you missed along the way was, the perfect place is not a place but a foundation that’s built in one thing “love.” You had that all along, but the negative obstacles kept obscuring your view, every time you started removing that obstacle it found a way to reposition itself. We can’t turn back time and if we could, the question then becomes, should we? All is never truly lost, for I am sure that not only a lesson will be revealed but a stronger foundation of love will evolve as a result; someone will not just hear but will listen and you will be acknowledged as a man of strength for that is all that matters.                      

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Blessings, love and light… Soulfully speaking

 Family…

Though his sun has set

Yours must still shine

You all will be together again in time

You will never understand why he chose to leave that way

But know he loved you more each and every day

Wife…

You were his best to his friend

You were his Mrs to his Mr

You were his light to his dark

He will always hold a special place in your heart

His Legacy…

Tell his children do not fear

Celebrate the love you all shared

Your protector…

The ending of his life forces a new normal to begin

He is your watcher and will make sure your lights will never dim

© Soulmuze 2017