Tag: sorry

Ultimate Thresholds, do they truly exist?

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Have you considered your dead end threshold, the ultimate violation (in your eyes) which once that line is crossed there is no turning back.

I, like the rest of the world, had/has/will continue to have my fair of shit thrown at me.  When I think about the wrong done to me which triggered my retaliation I start thinking, is this the justification for evolution… Don’t monkeys throw shit at each other ?… Hmmmm

Don’t get mad, get even… But what happened to do unto others as you would have them to do unto you? … Unless you get off on negative behaviors you may not want to live your life in a spiral of warring with mankind.

The handbook for life is the most unique book ever created and only one is written per person. We each author our own book, creating our own  rules and exceptions on a case by case basis. We determine that final ultimate violation rule that no matter who you are once crossed it’s a done deal. You may as well sell your soul to the devil because that relationship is over…

 Or is it? I think we all have some type of morals, at minimum an ounce, so why do we often ignore that final line? Is it the forgive -forget factor or nobody’s perfect; it will get better if I just do this one thing; acknowledgement of karma; lack of confidence that a better relationship awaits us; are we so caught up in what other people think our actions become determined by society’s view; or do we simply enjoy the pain and humiliation?

Let me clarify, when I say relationship I’m speaking of any type of relationship, this isn’t solely about the intimacy spectrum, it’s every and any relationship. 

Every moment we face this dilemma of managing thresholds and sticking to our personalized life handbook.  No matter how hard we try avoid it, we keep rewriting our thresholds and expanding the exception list. To get what we want we add work-arounds to our personalized handbook,  aligning with someone else’s, over time slowly corrupting the lines. darkening or lightening those areas that once defined your uniqueness and tolerance levels.

We all know that one person who will say “I will never!”, better yet you are that one person who said and will continue to say “Hell no! If that was me… I would never..” (Think about what I just said)…

Replay parts of your life how many times have you or that one friend eaten those words? Not only do we throw the shit we eat it too! Does it make us bad, stupid, immoral, desperate…? No that’s what makes us human. We will judge others for their decisions and justify those same decisions when applied to self.

So do we really have that drop dead ultimate threshold line? One of the most popular tattoos to date is “only God can judge me” oh really now… So why do we ALL have something to say about someone? Our whole entertainment system is designed to fuel opinions, our court system has a judge and jury, the media has their opinion, our parents are our judge until we can stand independently, etc. So do you truly believe only God can judge you?… God gave man the will to make our own decisions which lead to judgment of man by man.

Until the end-of-days arrive we will judge each other be it right or wrong.

We will adjust that threshold even though we know better because we need to either satisfy ourselves or please the masses.

Ultimate thresholds, do they truly exist?

© Soulmuze 2013

Apologies accepted..eventually

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

“One thing I don’t need is anymore apologies! I got sorry greetin’ me at my front door!…” The unforgettable opening from Sorry in Ntozake Shange’s choreopoem ,“For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf”

We are all guilty of blurting out things in the heat of passion whether it is during love making or an argument.
Thoughts of what we said usually happen after we have released our words to the universe. ‘Geez, now what do I do?’ You have either torn someone down or set their expectations higher than you ever intended.

At a crossroads with your conscious you want to apologize, retract your statement but you ask yourself ‘is it too late?’ Have I crossed the river of no return? It’s truly hard to determine. We are taught to forgive and forget. I don’t buy into the forgetting portion too much. We must remember in order not to repeat or to recognize when it’s going to happen again, brace for impact and stop it in its track. Use it as an instructive lesson.

Now forgiving here’s the challenge for us all. You hurt me, lied to me, mislead me, omitted information that impacts our relationship and an apology is supposed to repair that? Do you think you can say and do whatever you want and clean it up with ‘sorry’ later? Is it sincere or just to pacify? All of this thought process is truly overwhelming yet it’s unavoidable, especially when the act creating the need to apologize is repeated.

As imperfect beings we need to be able to accept an apology whether it’s delivered minutes, hours, days or months later. It doesn’t mean we are weak but it allows us to put a lid on that pot. It helps to smolder the silent flame that burns within for the emotional disruption that was caused.

“Steada bein sorry alla the time enjoy bein yourself!” …the poem’s closing line. You know who and what you are so own up to it!

The actions of some are intentional, self-serving and being sorry is just who they are! It takes all kinds and there are many straight up sorry human beings. So do you stress yourself, expend unnecessary energy or do you just let it and them go? Easier said than done but the journey starts with a single, small step. Accept the apologies regardless of the sincerity, leave the burden on the one delivering the apology. Forgive yourself in the part you may have played (remember it takes two hands to clap). Make room to welcome positive energy and experiences into your fold.

© Soulmuze 2012