Yet all I can do is speak

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I listen as poets deliver their words with action
Stirring your spirit causing rippling reactions
Yet all I can do is speak
They flail their arms giving life to words
Jumping from their lips like colorful birds
Yet all I can do is speak
Using sing song inflections and vowel imperfections
Yet All I can so is speak
Eyes to the sky, then their head drops low
Taking on a lyrical roller coaster as you watch the show
Yet all I can do is speak
Face distorted body contorted
Yet all I can do is speak…
Will you hear my words the same?
Hear my questions, feel my passions and my pain?
I cannot act out my lyrical prose to make you pay attention
Or clap standing tall on the tip of your toes
All I can do is speak and speak and speak
My words are no less or no more
And when I’m done my mic still drops to the floor
I hope you hear me just the same
For no matter the delivery no words are spoken in vain

© Soulmuze 2014

She is becoming

amanda november 2013

She is still becoming despite her 40+ years.

She is still becoming for she has yet to face all her fears.

She is still becoming trying to fill the gaps in her heart.

She is still becoming waiting for her brand new start.

She is still becoming despite the darkness of her pain

She believes she will find herself again

She understands what she must leave behind

She is eager to see what’s new and will stand in line

She recognizes she had to fall so that she could stand

She recognizes that for her, God has His own plan

She knows patience is a virtue and she must stand tall

She also knows that she must be prepared to answer the call

She is slowly opening her eyes so that she may see

She knows that blindness kept her from accepting reality

She is not allowing others to taint her view

She is removing the tinted glasses and letting the real colors shine through

She will become more than anyone expected her to be

She is becoming amazing and free

She is becoming more creative in her spirit

She is becoming stronger in her fight

She is not a phoenix, for she never allowed herself to become anyone’s ash

She became a warrior, a tribal leader, a ninja, a mighty power who can be brash

She is still becoming for her evolution has no end

Becoming, becoming, becoming so much more than the eye can see

She is becoming

She is me.

For those who have fought the wars of love and won and for those still fighting.

© 2014 Soulmuze, Photo Credits Albert Blackman, Jr. of AlBJ Photography

The encounter…

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Words drip from your lips so syrupy sweet

As the clothes fall, landing at the base of our feet

A world wind of questions flood my mind clearly now is not the time

My body craves your manly touch, why do I desire you so much

As your hands caress my back and the energy flows I am melting from head to toe

As I anticipate the feeling of when you penetrate my heart begins to palpitate

Patience is what I must have as you taunt, tease, dip and dab

You enter my body I deeply inhale as now I have been properly impaled

Slow rhythmic movements complimented by full kisses of your lips accented as your hands grab my hips

Motions as graceful as a ship dancing on the seas as you slowly make love to me.

Love or sex I’m not sure, don’t really care right now I just want more

We ride and turn and ride some more as the sheets have now slid to the floor

Whispering words of passion leads to more labored breathing

as you stare at my full breasts emphasized as my chest is heaving

Words lost in my throat as you dominate every stroke

Beads of sweat form along your spine and run down to the small of your back.

I think to myself “didn’t know your hips could swivel like that!”

The intensity increases as our bodies wait no more.

We have finally arrived and got what we truly came here for

The encounter is done, our needs have been met.

This encounter has been the best one yet

Our next time around, not sure when

Counting the minutes 1, 2, 3…10 , oh, oh, we are at it again.

 

© 2014 Soulmuze

If I take your words

If I take your words in pieces

I create the story I want to tell

That of rainbows, sunshine and happy times

That of you being all mine

 

But a fool I shall not be

No piece meal of words to match the piece meal of ‘love’

The tokens you chose to throw to get where you want to go

 

I hear the full story, line by line

I see those things you think you can hide

Like my heart is not cold my eyes are not blind

I know we do not share the ties that bind

 

Your colorful lyrics and momentary gestures do not mean a lifetime together

They are just meant to get me to do whatever

 

This game we can no longer play for with you I will not stay

For while you gave me pieces I found my whole

One who loves me truly from the core of his soul

 

“When that defining moment comes it will be unlike any other. It will validate all the no’s for now you have the ultimate YES!”

© Soulmuze 2013

We are a flash mob

We are a flash mob

Of negative proportions

Pockets of people

Selfish ambitions

Collaborating only if they can obtain the largest piece

 We are a flash mob

Stopping progress

Implementing reversals of fortunes for the less fortunate

We are a flash mob

Striking over and over again

Shedding blood, tears, taking lives

Occupying streets for what purpose?

Homeless people have been occupying streets for centuries

and you still don’t care

We are a flash mob

One of destruction

Our ancestors weep in their graves

Our activists are in a state of unrest

Where have their efforts gone?

We are a flash mob

That never stops flashing

Negative actions like a strobe light on our future with an intoxicating bass beat

Distracting us from the truth

Deterring us from securing a room in Our Father’s mansion

We are a flash mob

We have created our own casualties of war

Pointing blame in every direction

except within ourselves

We are a flash mob

We have taken all that is great, beautiful and just grounded it into gravel

Blame terrorists, militant groups

But in the end they are we and we are they

We are a flash mob

Dissecting our communities, how can we achieve unity?

Abandoned children

Abandoned hopes

Abandoned dreams

Abandoned futures

Sadly, painfully…

We are a flash mob

 

© Soulmuze 2012

 

Always…love…always…lost

Always…love…always…lost

Guess that seems par for the course
Can’t understand, don’t want to accept that love is not here yet
Love that is sought comes from a man
One to hold you, listen, even if he doesn’t understand
In return I can give the same ear he needs, the lips to speak
Whether our words are harsh or sweet

Always …love…always …lost

Searching, trying to accept
It may not be for me, maybe not yet
The love that is needed can’t be that far away
Something, someone must be in our way
The void to be filled can only be reached by that spiritual man
Hope you understand

…because sometimes I don’t …

Lost…always…love…always

(c) Soulmuze 2012

No matter

No matter how disillusioned I become my faith in you is never done

No matter how many tell me it’s not real my passion for you I always feel
No matter what they say I know you love me in every possible way
No matter how hard I fall you pick me up and help me to stand tall
No matter how dark the day you will light my way
No matter how deep the wound you remind me it will heal soon
No matter where I am you are there
No matter …

© Soulmuze 2012

Dear God it’s WE…

Please don’t take offense to the questions we ask

For we just want to know when this misery will pass

We are tired, we are weak, we are worn

We can’t believe for this we were born

Mistakes have been made, lessons have been learned

Yet we cannot find love for one another that which we yearn

We come to you on bended knees with open hearts

For you are the foundation, our very start

We ask you to purify the ground on which we stand

For your powers far exceed any man

Please don’t take wrath for the questions we are about to ask:

Do you feel we are truly unrepentant of our sins?

Amongst the wicked many good people walk

Do we have to physically die to truly live?

Spiritual wars, fighting evil in every way

Will you really turn your back on us if we took our own lives today?

Will you take into account that we could not stand anymore?

Dear God it’s We, not me

I speak on behalf of the many that are afraid to leave questions at your door

I am not afraid for I trust in you and you know my heart is pure

Some became disillusioned and took flight

Yet we ask that they are offered salvation too,

for they truly do not know what they do

Dear God it’s We

Tears flowing, as requests of forgiveness escapes our lips

Hands raised and held up high

Not just here asking you why

Dear God it’s We,

Imperfect in every way, standing before you today

Admitting there is so much we don’t understand

We desperately need your almighty hand.

© Soulmuze 2012

Living the dream!

The other day I asked my friend “How are you doing?”  The response, “Living the dream!” I chuckled and we continued our conversation. Since then those words have been echoing in my head forcing me to question, “Am I living the dream?”

Every way I twist the question the answer is “ABSOLUTELY YES!”. For a minute or two my answer was leaning towards a strong no. However, the more I thought about it I realized that I am. We often default to no because we have so many dreams that go unfulfilled. We focus on what we didn’t accomplish, what we didn’t purchase, where we didn’t travel, etc. You know all the things that do not truly define what we need for our existence. The dreams that are fulfilled are defined first by what we need. IF our wants align with our needs we are even more satisfied.

I really needed to think this thru, so I created a short list of my wants versus needs:

Wants:

I want to travel with my family

I want to drive a nice care

I want to help those less fortunate.

I want to have a successful business

I want to create a positive legacy

I want retire early

I want to live long enough to see my youngest complete her education and start a career

Needs:

I need to keep a roof over my family’s head.

I need to keep food on the family table.

I need to keep clothes on my family’s back.

I need to work.

I need to appreciate the sacrifices of others.

I need to be patient.

I need to keep and always have faith.

I need to spend quality time with my family and those few true blue friends.

What’s truly amazing all my needs are being meet and they help satisfy my wants. Let me repeat, that was my short list, but at a glance how’s that for living the dream! I have so many unfulfilled dreams but they are not to be considered “deferred” for as Langston Hughes wrote:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore–

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over–

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?”

My dreams will be fulfilled whether I do it, my family or my community. You see we need to expand dream building and fulfillment beyond ourselves, encompass your village. If one person fulfills a dream that you weren’t able to accomlish celebrate because it didn’t die! If you think about your ancestors, or better yet the movie Roots. Each generation made it one step further in fulfilling the dream. Where one failed the next picked up and moved forward. Epic journeys ran like a race. Each person charged with completing a certain distance then passing the baton to the next to move forward; the magic of creating legacies, each building on the success of the one prior.

Every day we see the light. Every night we see the darkness we have completed another step on Jacob’s ladder.

Who would have thought the simple 3 word response would have stimulated so much thought and re-evaluation of oneself. We also learn in those words the value of surrounding yourself with positive people.

On your darkest day, in the darkest hour, the right words can give you so much strength and power.

Yes, I am living the dream! Nightmares are only temporary; they will not define or deter me from sharing my talents and celebrating those who live theirs!

Questions

Women always ask the questions

What are your intentions?

Where lays your affections?

Asking questions because they are afraid to just come out and say, ‘I fell in love with you a minute before yesterday’

NOW…

Men go the other way,

Gotta keep their ‘swag’ up as they say

‘Ask me what you want to know’, not volunteering information playing safe and moving snail slow

Can’t say I blame either side

Men don’t want to show their soft side

Always looking for the next best thing to ride

Women, well let’s just say are emotional creatures born to love until their dying day

Don’t get me wrong when a man truly loves he will love strong

But the questions loom overhead,

Why do we have to ask just come out and say it instead.

We play kiss don’t tell games with each other’s heart

Pretending it’s okay to  just hang out, but that’s only at the start

When talking leads to hugging when kissing leads to caressing

When intimacy gets so sweet emotions run wild and feelings are no longer asleep

NOW…

This ‘hanging out’ becomes more than what you bargained for

One heart begins to strongly question, ‘how deep is this affection?’

The other heart says, ‘this is all good’ and begins to question, ‘how much more can I get and still avoid a long term connection?’

Ha, ha they laugh sarcastically, each on their own agenda with one mutual question: ‘what’s in it for me?’

Men and women play the question game their target is both the same…mine and me

Pretending to one another it’s ours and we

Are we keeping it real pretending less is more?

Tossing the hot potato seeing who’s going to let it hit the floor

Can’t say I always understand the questions one asks and the other avoids answering

Too bad both wastes so much time just doing me and mine.

Questions, in the beginning, in the middle, and never seems to be answered and never seems end…

(c) Soulmuze 2011