Tag: me

What did I do?… Time to burn to resurrect

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Rebirth #RisingfromAsh #Phoenix

“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” Mother to Son by Langston Hughes

My stairs have all broken into fractured pieces and various sized shards have been painfully imbedded into my heart and soul.

Never have I experienced so much pain and heartache at one time back to back to back, day after day after day. I look inwards, outwards, upside down, sideways, forwards, reversing, searching for answers. What did I sow to warrant such return?

I cried out to the universe seeking answers, a sign, a totem, something!! I waited, I waited and still I wait, in return things continue to spiral downhill.

I can retain the mask of a smile but it is damaged, requiring repair as my eyes are marked with dark circles and puffiness that can only be covered by large tinted glasses. I can’t stop the rain so I must succumb to the flood until I have repaid whatever debt that is owed.

I no longer believe in “do unto others” for those I have given my love and support without question or pause have left me to be washed away and practically drown in the rising flood waters.

“You’re strong.” “You got this.” “You’re smart.” “Look how much you have accomplished.” Blah, blah, blah bullshit in my ears.

What? Are you ASSuming I never need??! The strong can never be weak? Can never say I can’t do this? Can never cry, scream or beg for help? Do you not understand why I support the semicolon movement? I considered it because the rainbow wasn’t always enough…

Doing what you have to do has nothing to do with strength, it’s called handling responsibilities. If shards of glass are impaled in my body causing me harm, tearing me to shreds are you going to just watch me die a slow painful death based on an assumption of eternal strength?

I do not assume anyone is eternally strong or an octopus or could be everywhere at once which is why I extend my help when asked or offer help to those I sincerely care about. I will cry with you and for you. I will wipe the snot from your nose. I am not a fair weather friend or lover.

The mind of humans never cease to amaze. If I attempt to step into your shoes, see with your eyes, feel with your heart, listen with your ears why can’t you do the same for me? Walk with those findings and just hold it.

When you have been grounded down to practically nothing the only thing left is to reinvent yourself. I must find a different branch on my tree of life for the fruits of my spirits have been depleted as it has nourished everyone else, now their needs are satiated, I am left dry, withered, wrinkled and empty.

As I select my new branch I will keep all of my spiritual fruits. No more shall I gracefully serve bottomless plates, give pack your to-go box and deliver on a dime. No more will I light your entire path. You will be served only what you serve me. If you serve me nothing I will not starve as have stored my fruits. No more off balanced scales.

Cry I will. Die a thousand deaths I will until I get past this negative magnetic cycle. When the darkness clears I will stand under the burning sun, dance to the music until I go up in flames then resurrect.

9 fruits of the Spirit:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self-Control

“As Beethoven was writing his 9 symphonies the fruits of my spirit danced under the fiery sun until I became nothing but ash and at that moment I was reborn.” Soulmuze

©️Soulmuze 2018

My New Journey Begins

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Poetry

#Soulmuze #Soulspiration #MyNewJourneyBegins #SpillingInk #MySoulSpeaks #DeathChangesAll #lightpath #LostSouls #Hope

“A heart that is troubled shall be no more.

A soul that is lost will soon find its way.

A flicker of light will provide seas of hope.

May the sweet fragrance of flowers be constant reminder that true beauty is within.

Open your heart and release your light path.”

©️ Photo and words Soulmuze 2018

Take the exit ramp

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Castro Exit ramp

#Soulmuze #MySoulSpeaks #ExitRamp #ICanIWill #Soulspirations #NegativeToPositive #LoveLight #BloodInThePen #SpillingInk

Day after day we are facing our fears and new challenges. Those of us who are spiritually attuned with the universe analyze behavior of self and others.

We are seeking answers for our unlimited “whys.” Why did we enable these negative behaviors? Why is it all so consuming, stagnating our dash?

We seek the answers for our “hows”. How do we make our days filled with unlimited love and peace amidst all the negativity that flows through the elements? How can we control what’s not in our control?

We seek the answers for our “whats.” What can we do to smoothen life’s journey? What can we do to strengthen our resolve and not spiral backwards?

We seek the answers for our “whos.” Who do we keep and who do we let go? Who is truly for us?

We seek the answers for our “whens.” When will our hopes and dreams come to fruition? When will the pain end?

Finally, we seek the answers for our “wheres”. Where do we begin the journey of recovery? Where are the answers hidden?

It’s the never ending cycle which is life. We know that once we can secure the answers we can secure ourselves.

We can start by taking the exit ramp and forge a new path on our respective highways of life.

We have separate paths, at some point we will come to a crossroad and that is your moment of truth… which way to go?

Exit the need to ask others to forgive you. Forgive yourself for allowing situations to make you go left instead of right.

Exit doubt in your abilities. You are being the best you that you can be.

Exit close mindedness. Open the path for self-improvement. Make your best even better.

Exit the mindset that the world is against you. Accept that everyone is not for you but there will always be someone who is right there with you.

Exit the life of quantity. Enter the realm of quality. Empty people, empty thoughts have no place in your world.

Exit the thought of obligations that are not respected or reciprocated. You don’t have to stay in something to prove anything to anyone. You, like time is precious don’t waste it. There’s always something or someone more deserving of your energy.

Exit others people’s judgment of you. If they didn’t take the time to learn or understand your journey, don’t live by their judgement. People are often stuck on what you were not who you are becoming.

Take the exit ramp to forgive yourself of your transgressions.

It’s not a goal, for goals have an endpoint. It’s a journey that only ends when your physical presence is no longer required in this space time continuum.

Until your transition date you should live on the open pathways of

love, light and weightlessness.

© Soulmuze 2018

Promise of transition

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Uncategorized

Today I asked myself for a status update, sometimes you need to “check yourself.”

The question of the day was:  “Did I stick to my promise of “transition”?” You see I stopped using the word “change.” Why? I realized my mind translates “change” as dramatic upheavals, go hard or go home… Now I know that change can be gradual or drastic yet as an extremist I process it (for myself) solely as drastic. 

In order to keep myself at a manageable level, I go with “transition.” My mind recognizes this as a metamorphosis over time which will yield me lasting results. So today was time for a self-assessment of the last eight months. My transitions are not based on long forgotten New Year’s Eve promises; they are things that solely depend on me, for me, decided by me… All about me!

It’s important for me to be better so that those who depend on me, look to me or come to me can benefit from the optimal version of me at that point on time. 

We often worry about pleasing, caring, and satisfying everyone else before we take care of ourselves. My transition is not selfish in nature as I believe that I was not birthed for selfish gain but to be a gift and a blessing to those who cross my path and whose path I cross. 

 “Did I stick to my promise of “transition”?” … Absolutely! 

As I see myself today I am successful in my transitions even those that I view as a temporary failure. Yes failure is a temporary state of being as long as you resolve to learn from it, modify your approach and try again. 

The things I set to gradually modify have removed a cloud to allow more light in my life. It has also allowed me to share that light with others who are open to receive it, bringing them into the fold of “transition.” 

 As I gradually increase altitude I followed the instructions whispered to me by those who paved the road before me.  “Put on my armor first, whether it’s a life vest or oxygen mask. Open the life raft first for you cannot save others if you are struggling to save yourself.” 

 The concept of me first is not that of selfishness. It is more of laying the foundation to be strong enough to hold up the rest. When the rest is stronger they are added to the foundation. Now the transition is flipping the ‘m’ in me to become the ‘w’ in we. 

However you play with words whether it is “change” or “transition” it’s something that’s evident and relevant for everyday living. Take the lead in bettering yourself and others.

 

© Soulmuze 2013