Tag: masks

What did I do?… Time to burn to resurrect

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Rebirth #RisingfromAsh #Phoenix

“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” Mother to Son by Langston Hughes

My stairs have all broken into fractured pieces and various sized shards have been painfully imbedded into my heart and soul.

Never have I experienced so much pain and heartache at one time back to back to back, day after day after day. I look inwards, outwards, upside down, sideways, forwards, reversing, searching for answers. What did I sow to warrant such return?

I cried out to the universe seeking answers, a sign, a totem, something!! I waited, I waited and still I wait, in return things continue to spiral downhill.

I can retain the mask of a smile but it is damaged, requiring repair as my eyes are marked with dark circles and puffiness that can only be covered by large tinted glasses. I can’t stop the rain so I must succumb to the flood until I have repaid whatever debt that is owed.

I no longer believe in “do unto others” for those I have given my love and support without question or pause have left me to be washed away and practically drown in the rising flood waters.

“You’re strong.” “You got this.” “You’re smart.” “Look how much you have accomplished.” Blah, blah, blah bullshit in my ears.

What? Are you ASSuming I never need??! The strong can never be weak? Can never say I can’t do this? Can never cry, scream or beg for help? Do you not understand why I support the semicolon movement? I considered it because the rainbow wasn’t always enough…

Doing what you have to do has nothing to do with strength, it’s called handling responsibilities. If shards of glass are impaled in my body causing me harm, tearing me to shreds are you going to just watch me die a slow painful death based on an assumption of eternal strength?

I do not assume anyone is eternally strong or an octopus or could be everywhere at once which is why I extend my help when asked or offer help to those I sincerely care about. I will cry with you and for you. I will wipe the snot from your nose. I am not a fair weather friend or lover.

The mind of humans never cease to amaze. If I attempt to step into your shoes, see with your eyes, feel with your heart, listen with your ears why can’t you do the same for me? Walk with those findings and just hold it.

When you have been grounded down to practically nothing the only thing left is to reinvent yourself. I must find a different branch on my tree of life for the fruits of my spirits have been depleted as it has nourished everyone else, now their needs are satiated, I am left dry, withered, wrinkled and empty.

As I select my new branch I will keep all of my spiritual fruits. No more shall I gracefully serve bottomless plates, give pack your to-go box and deliver on a dime. No more will I light your entire path. You will be served only what you serve me. If you serve me nothing I will not starve as have stored my fruits. No more off balanced scales.

Cry I will. Die a thousand deaths I will until I get past this negative magnetic cycle. When the darkness clears I will stand under the burning sun, dance to the music until I go up in flames then resurrect.

9 fruits of the Spirit:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self-Control

“As Beethoven was writing his 9 symphonies the fruits of my spirit danced under the fiery sun until I became nothing but ash and at that moment I was reborn.” Soulmuze

©️Soulmuze 2018

Close your eyes and masturbate…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

unknownIn a world where people proliferate negative images and thoughts we need to find our pleasures with our eyes closed…No blood stained streets, chalk outlines, no picket signs, lampposts decorated with flower tributes and candles.

Close your eyes, now do you see anything? Anything at all? If your answer is no we have a serious problem…

When we close our eyes we are not merely shutting out light or bad visuals we are opening our paths to enlightenment. As children our minds are open and eyes are never truly closed. As we grow older we become tarnished, impure and our views are often dark, our glass is empty despite the presence of a single drop of water.

When you shut down one sense, the others become heightened. We kiss with our eyes closed, while holding one another to embrace a passion far beyond the mere entwining of tongues and touching of lips. We peak during the process to confirm the feeling, the concrete-ness of the activity. We peak intermittently to grab the expression of our lovers face during sex to give us more fuel to drive deeper into one another. Peaking and hoping not to get caught creating more excitement.

Peaking to lock in that image of pleasure and the emotion so we can replay it in our minds when our lover absent.

Closing your eyes leads to the path of enlightenment. You meditate on what is, what was and what can be… creating an infinite world of possibility. When we shut out artificial light we open the true light within. We gain clarity into our inner being. We become truthful with our pain and pleasure. There is no denying what lies beneath the surface.  We remove the masks and become free within ourselves.

It’s all truly an orgasmic experience when you become enlightened within yourself. Masturbation, a word that is often considered taboo in many cultures, allows you to pleasure yourself, relieve stress…be it physically or mentally.  We should not only connect masturbation with self-sexual stimulation. We masturbate in so many other ways: we when eat our favorite food or dessert; watch our favorite movie; listen to our favorite song; pull on our favorite sweats… We are pleasuring different areas of ourselves. After a long hard day and you step into that shower, water beating on your skin you close your eyes and allow all the staleness of the day to wash down the drain.

You’ve traveled miles and when you reach your destination you sit and close your eyes pleasuring your body and mind with a brief rest.

Closing your eyes allows you to masturbate the creativity of your spirit in your private sanctuary.

Take time out, close your eyes look inward and masturbate = stimulate your desires, dreams and find solutions.

© 2015 Soulmuze

Reflections

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

We look at mirrors and think the reflections answers it all. What we see is what we get… NOT! Ever heard of the Iceberg Theory? Simply defined: we only view the visible portion, the tip and ignore what lies beneath the surface; taking things at face value.

Beneath the surface lies the true definition of who’s looking back at you.  Reflections are just a mask, ignoring what’s beneath the mask can lead us to fear, disappointment and heartache.

We create internal fun houses running thru mazes, distorting views of ourselves and our lives; creating scenarios based on a surface view and never delve deeper. We fail to recognize that no matter how deep it is buried it will rise to the top. Why wait until it floats up? Why are we afraid to deep dive into ourselves? Maybe it’s because we are afraid that the truth will not align to what we want. Maybe it’s just easy to pretend as we are emotionally rotting within.

Science fiction movies come to mind. Aliens walking around, blending in with their outer human shell. Spreading their venom, converting others, building a universe of hideous creatures. Sounds silly doesn’t it? Think about it, we deceive one another with fake smiles, false hopes and expectations.  Sometimes this deception is unintentional and then there are those who knowingly set out on a mission to destroy others just to get what they desire.

At what point does it stop? Enough already! When will that pitching ball machine run out of damn balls! Life’s ball machine is going wild and you are trapped in the batting cage swinging wildly. You hit some, miss many and are severely bruised.

Can we continue to comfortably look at our reflections and accept the image?  The alien in the reflection is not what we are designed to be. We cannot allow those bruises to become permanent scars that mark every facet of our being. Scars that we end up projecting onto others. We must strengthen our resolves get below the surface, walk up to that pitching machine and pull the plug.

“…To thine own self be true…” said Polonius to his son in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet

When we are true to ourselves we can be true to others. Truth is not always glamorous but neither is life.  Look beyond the mask, the face value really is worthless, look within yourself and others. Successful lifelong relationships are not built on a reflection; it has a dependency of a solid foundation which is found within your core.

©Soulmuze 2012