Tag: expedition

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after …

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#Soulmuze #Soulspirations #MySoulSpeaks #SelfDiscovery #ChewOnThis #Pencils #Change #SpillingInkUsingLead #SpilledInk

The first $20 I ever made was performing at the Billie Holiday Theatre at the Restoration Plaza located in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. I played Peppermint Patty in “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” with my JHS Drama club. The entire cast was paid equally and it was amazing. I took that $20 and opened my first bank account at the now defunct Chemical Bank which was also in the Restore, that was in 1977. Kitura, Walter, Darryl, Yolanda, Lamar, Sheila, just to name a few of my cast mates; our Music/Drama teacher Ms. Powell who did all of this with/for us on her own dime, back then teachers gave of their personal time without per session pay.

I almost sound like Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo in the Golden Girls ‘Picture it: Brooklyn 1977…’ lol

What an amazing feeling! I remember we were all celebrities for our brief run on our very own little Bed-Stuy Broadway! Everything was about community back then.

To this day I still love the Peanuts gang. We enjoyed the stories and didn’t see their colors or gender identities, just kids; plain and simple.

I never realized the lessons I was learning thru it all: teamwork, patience, sharing the spotlight, finding our voices, recognizing our individual talents, encouraging each other and so much more.

There are so many things I loved about that musical but as I grow older the one thing that stands out the most is the ensemble song Happiness, the first line is “Happiness is finding a pencil.” It truly was for Charlie Brown for when the pretty little red headed girl dropped her pencil, he picked it up, saw teeth marks and knew she was human.

“I’m so happy. That little red-headed gril dropped her pencil.It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil. She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all.” Charlie Brown, You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

I have my own little chewed up pencil with it’s equally little eraser and I never hesitate to correct my mistakes, I’m only human.

My bite marks on the pencil represent the release of panic, anxiety and putting thought into my every action. When it’s needed and I’m ready (for change isn’t easy) I find my pencil , I erase and start over again with renewed confidence.

I save each worn down pencil to remind me of how far I have come, how much I have accomplished.

Happiness is finding pencil after pencil after pencil after pencil after…

Dedicated to one BAMF-CDC who has found his pencil after pencil after…

©️ Soulmuze 2018

Choice.Chance.Change

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

#choice #chance #change

There is always the #fear of the unknown. Everything that exists today is a result of someone making a choice to take a chance and oh so much has changed!!!

Every unsuccessful attempt at anything teaches you how to do it better the next time. Life's recipe is not set in stone, tweak here, a tweak there can change something from sour to sweet.

What your heart #desires is waiting for you, be diligent, be passionate, be your own change agent.

(C) Soulmuze 2017

The light path

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Configuration Management

As with any expedition you hit bumps in the road. When you do decisions comes into play… I’m so frustrated should I stop? Is this a sign? Or I can do this, I need to do this, I want to do this. Yes the inevitable fork in the road, two prongs or three it’s still a tough decision to be made.

So I hit that bump, you guessed it I took what I call “the light path” on this “configuration management expedition.” I need to do this! You see I worked to damn hard to lose what I did and I will let it be in vain! When we are faced with adversities it’s easier to run away than face the issue. This often leads to regrets: I should have, could have, would have as opposed to I did. Life is just one decision after another while you may not always make the best decisions they still have to be made.

The light path… sounds like a spiritual journey doesn’t it? Well for me it is. It’s more than numbers decreasing on a scale, it’s going back to my before. You see taking on this expedition requires one to think about what got you to this point in the first place. Yes as we get older our bodies change, but how we handle the change can make the difference. Unlike many women I can’t blame it on the birth of my daughter because guess what … I was like this pre-pregnancy. When I got pregnant I was so focused on not over doing it I managed my weight extremely well. Then after the birth of my daughter I lost whatever weight I had gained and guess what … I was right back at the starting point.

To start correcting my outward appearance I had to look inward and backward. What are my insecurities? How did I let others manipulate my mindset into accepting that it was okay to look like this? You see it’s not just about food, it’s emotional as well. My daughter’s father was okay with my appearance and I made it okay for me to please him… BIG mistake in so many ways (we aren’t together :-), I fear if we were I would look like Rasputia from Norbit, I may be exaggerating but ya never know). You see for some people it’s okay and I applaud them, as long as you are happy with yourself then I’m happy for you. But when you don’t like looking in a mirror, when you go shopping and only come home with underwear and shoes because the clothes can’t fit you, then there are issues that tissues can’t wipe away. It all boils down to personal satisfaction and acceptance of oneself; obviously I was not satisfied or accepting.

Another consideration for me is my daughter. Having my first child at the young age of 42, and I’m now 46 the importance of me being there for my daughter increased, how careless am I being with my weight? I need to take better care of myself for her so I can see her grow, be there for her and keep up with her. When your roll is called up yonder it will be called, but I don’t want my roll called because I didn’t take care of my body, my temple. Nor do I want to transmit my self-esteem issues to her. She needs to be strong and confident to deal with the naysayers of the world.

Now I have seen my light path on this amazing “configuration management expedition.” With each step on the path my self-esteem improves, the mirror becomes more of my friend than my enemy, I have a more positive outlook on my place on earth and love from someone other than God and my family doesn’t seem like light-years away. I still have issues and use plenty of tissues but everything becomes manageable over time. As we deal with those things we can control, we gain strength to deal with those things we cannot control.

My fork contains enough to help me stay on the light path. Hope your fork offers you the same positive serving.

 

© Soulmuze 2012

Navel aka the Belly Button

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Configuration Management

As a child my father said “Your navel is your life line, take care of it.”  Huh? Ok, so I went with it, unlike children today, what my parents said was law, short of God coming down himself! In my innocence, I paid special attention to the crevices of my lifeline.  Oh please, don’t pretend its gross either; you know you pick the lint out of yours from time to time… LOL. As I grew older I learned what he meant by that, the umbilical cord, it is truly the lifeline and the navel aka the belly button marks the separation, yet retains the invisible connection.  

Funny how we discard the importance and the art of that center point in our bellies, yes I’m over the top with this keep reading there is a reason. Now as I am on my “configuration management expedition” I am looking at every facet of my body. Part of the expedition is to appreciate every imperfection that defines who I am. This is a challenge for me, and many others, because I don’t usually do mirrors commando, but to overcome you must face the reality of what is. It means embracing and accepting that it tells a story, not just one of over indulgence but emotional journeys that encompass both pleasure and pain. It’s accepting that pain led to growth which in-turn fueled more pleasure somewhere in your path.  So I started thinking about all the things that we do not see when we may have more ‘fluff’ in one area or another. Some people can’t see their feet because their boobs or stomach are infringing on the view. We can work around that by looking in the mirror. I won’t go into our private parts, if you know me there is usually no holds barred but I will control myself. Yet I will say for women we are always told to check our lady parts with a mirror as part of knowing ‘our bodies ourselves’ (remember that book?). Men don’t need a mirror, initially, because they are just out there, but they are subjected to belly infringement lol. Ok, pumping my brakes here, because ya’ know me!

 As your body changes you know what you need a mirror to see, but you never (or I never) considered the possibility of needing a mirror to see my belly button. I just ignored my center point, my lifeline, how could I!! My ”innie”  did nothing to hurt me, it is a reminder of the nurturing my mother provided in the womb and I totally forgot about it, until… until my ‘configuration management expedition’ began to take form. Are you with me so far, did you figure out where I’m going with this yet? Well, as I am reviewing the changes taking place in my body I discovered I can see the inside of my belly button… no mirror necessary! Too much information, well too bad, cause you’re still reading… It dawned on me that I couldn’t remember the last time I saw it and it was so pretty lol… the mark of my life line… my center point… Every person has their own break thru point some are defined, some just appear… mine just appeared… the belly button.

There is still work to be done and I may not walk away like the Jennifer Hudson’s, Janet Jackson’s of the world and that’s all good. They have resources I don’t have like a personal trainer, and free time to exercise their day away. What I do have is me and the incremental discoveries that inspire me and amuse me at the same time. So when you don’t have to use a mirror or sit down to see your feet or can view any part of your body free and clear even that long second toe, enjoy it and embrace it… it’s a sign of success on your “configuration management expedition.”

 

© Soulmuze 2012

 

 

Configuration management expedition

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Configuration Management

As we share jokes, send inspiration and make brunch plans thru group texts we have learned a little more about each other. Yes, we get together and talk yet the greatest insight I have received about each person has been thru a character count limitation.

Funny? Well, while miscommunication can occur thru texts and email great learning can come from them as well. Not everyone is comfortable verbalizing their feelings especially in a social setting.  The hesitation to share during brunch or sitting at the kitchen table is often a matter of being self-conscious, not wanting to become the focal point or being/seeing/hearing judgmental comments. As individuals we each feel the same way yet as a group we feel like we are the odd one out.

Despite our uniqueness we have a common ground which surfaced during our character count limitation … I call it the need for “configuration management.” Life shows on each of us through our hair, face, skin, mentality, attitude and most of all our weight! We look at each other and think the next one looks great and as an individual we are unhappy with our physical appearance. Silently one person starts her weight loss journey then falters because of lack of support or frustration in resisting temptation.

Over time our “configuration” has changed and while we accept it one way, we are rejected in many other ways: through advertisements, store mannequins, the latest fashions, our mates, our reflections, etc. We clearly understand that we may not regain that perfect Coca-Cola shape we once had, but we can come close to it. Our journey to a better “configuration” may stem from vanity (which is considered a sin), but goes beyond that, it extends to our health both physically and mentally, self-discipline and being working examples to our families and communities that you have the power to re-configure yourself!

Each person comes as a package, many packages are incomplete, they have the presentation but not the content that will outlast the outer shell… those associations have since been discarded or kept at a manageable distance. As mature women we have made some any adjustments in our content due to our experiences and have ignored our packaging. As our packaging is off-kilter we recognize that it has affected our mental state our confidence, our drive which we once had as youths. Now with our character limitation we learned that there is more than one person on the weight loss journey, better yet “configuration management” journey. Recognizing our commonality, has evolved this individual journey (a passage or progress from one stage to another) to an expedition (a group of persons engaged in an activity).  No not earth shattering, not new, but guess what it’s new for this group!

We have removed one of our masks, to share a personal aspect of ourselves which we are no longer self-conscious about. It’s not rocket science, that’s what Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri-System and all the other weight loss groups built their foundation on. However, the difference is, we are extending ourselves beyond a food log, packaged food and sitting in a room with a group of strangers talking about why we ate that Oreo cookie or how our mate pissed us off so we ate a quart of fried rice, 4 chicken wings and  a pint of Häagan-Dazs for dessert. It’s about with each decrease in a pound; we increase our energy, increase our patience and increase our desire to go one step further. It’s about setting incremental goals and when we are happy we stop and maintain our “configuration.”  It’s about engaging the people we interact with on a daily basis, not just in weekly meetings or phone calls, to be the support we need. It’s about engaging our families in healthier lifestyles especially our children so they don’t forget the importance of “configuration management.”  It’s about watching someone take one less medication and another being able to avoid it all together.

Our “configuration management” expedition will have bumps, and we may fall into a ditch, but we will throw down that rope ladder, plant our foot firmly and take the climb slowly to the top. Please believe we will still indulge in our brunches and other treats we have come to love, but it will be done in moderation. Each person is responsible for accepting their own packaging.

 When you are happy with your packaging and internal content then others view of you really doesn’t matter…  not conceit but confidence…

© Soulmuze 2012