Category: Eclectic thoughts

No defined philosophy or elements, just random views and thoughts

An open letter to the First Lady of the United States Mrs. Michelle Obama

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

I was asked to pen an open letter to the First Lady of the United States Mrs Michelle Obama for a potential project and so I did. The project didn’t pan out but my words did…

To The First Lady of the United States Mrs. Michelle Obama,

I’m given the opportunity to pen a letter to you the First Lady Mrs. Michelle Obama and am stumped. What could I say that would motivate you to read my letter, give thought to my words and possibly respond?

Although I am so full with words I can’t seem to piece them together in a sensible way. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to put so much thought into it or I want to sound so intellectual considering the other contributors to this anthology. Well I am a simple woman whose experiences were quite complicated therefore I will just reflect me. I smile on the outside but am crying inside. I am grateful for all that I have and give with an open heart.  My faith is strong but my spirit is weak, disillusioned by the blatant disrespect and lack of moral fiber displayed by the entire world, and myself at times. Wondering if the dreams I had as a child will ever fully come to fruition before my eternal sleep.

I am fearful for my child that she may not have the opportunities that are entitled to her at birth: that of creativity, true love, lasting friendships, honesty, and expression without fear. Fearful that she may not be able to fill her toolbox of life consisting of a well-rounded education, diversity, unrestricted walls with no color, gender, sexual preferences or ethnic bars and padlocks.

I carry burdens in my heart that weigh so heavy on me I cry as I write this. For every one woman like you there are ten like me who struggle to grasp a glimmer of hope, the hope to be a woman like you and transition from an unsung hero to one full of song, such as the person who extended me the opportunity to write this letter. I look to you not as the First Lady of the United States but as a woman who had to jump many hurdles, swim across many seas, bleeding hands from knocking down walls and sore yet strong arms from wrapping them tightly around her family so they don’t lose site of the foundation it was built upon.

There are so many of us in an endless cycle of what I call a Cinderella horror story:

We create our image, then it is not good enough

We find our prince, then he is lost

We find our careers then it is lost

We find our voices then we are silenced

What more can those like me do to get to the happy, rather contented, ending of the story that would allow us to create an unlimited number of new stories to hand off generation after generation?

Life’s accelerations have lead us to decelerate in our values, community engagement, relationships, learning and understanding our differences, social intercourse,  and so much more. How do those ten women like me get over the hurdles? So many in power, yet so few willing to reach out to help just one.  For despite their success they haven’t let go of the fear of being used or better yet someone to push them out of their position.

Tell me how do we first overcome this feeling of disenchantment so that we can rebuild ourselves? Then how can we maintain it? How do we put aside our fears and recognize there is plenty of room at the top? The top isn’t the pointed peak at the tip of a needle. It’s as vast as the universe where the stars are close enough to create a unique shape but still far enough to allow them space and distinction.  So I look to you not for the ultimate answer to find contentment but for a pathway to keep my chariot from returning to a rotten pumpkin. To keep children from feeling like they are nothing more than mere rodents unworthy of being the beautiful stallions drawing one another to greatness.

I, rather WE, look to you as that candle in the dark flickering but never burning out but actually draws us closer to create a large eternal flame. The flame that will resurrect the many villages that have been lost,  uniting us so that we may be strong for our men, strong for our children, stronger for one another, respectful of one another, uplifting one another, replace envy  with support, replace destruction with creation.

We need to stand on each other’s shoulders for we are the pillars of societies, the single strongest rib was given to us and yet we grind each other to ash.

Mrs. Michelle Obama this is not to increase your pressure for we know you are human like us. This is to embrace what you represent to us as a woman irrespective of color and to replicate beyond your family but to ours. It’s not just weeping, it’s a battle cry for if we as women don’t change toward one another we are doomed to a fate worse than death, we will live in Dante’s inferno as we take each other down one by one.

As the ink in my pen begins to fade…, I say thank you for resurrecting the power of minority women in the public eye. Thank you for the class and respect you command. Thank you for taking an interest in the well-being of everyone. Thank you for taking on causes because they need attention and not just because they may affect you or your family personally. I see you in the spiritual glow of our great ancestors and leaders who fought and fueled the passions for great change in spite of obstacles.

Now I will bid you adieu and maybe by some divine grace you will come across my words, feel my passions, and embrace us ten so that we may start a chain reaction to the path of contentment.

© 2014 Soulmuze

Just Tired

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

We all have those moments when we are just tired. Tired of the bullshit, injustices, knowing abandonment of morals and inconsideration of others. It’s so exhausting! You not only have to keep your focus, maintain patience but you also have to restrain yourself from just going rogue, sadly more people are losing control

I’m so confused and here I expected things to become clearer as I got older. Is it a sign that there is still a lot of growing up left for me?

Listening to news reports, watching people band together to share their displeasure of the injustice in the barrage of stand your ground cases I question ‘where are these people after all is said and done?’ Why do many of only see the injustices in our judicial system but not in their individual lives? How many of those ‘am I next’ protestors are shunning their responsibility to their community, family, lovers or better yet themselves?

I applaud the outpouring of support but I’m also just tired of those who realize the importance of something when it’s exploding all over the news; the tears have been shed or the pall bearers have been selected.

Don’t just stand for something when it’s sensationalized, popular or you realize you can no longer have your cake and eat it too.  Be that advocate in every aspect of yourself and your life.

Social consciousness starts at home. It’s about respect and values. It is held together by the entire village educating one another; understanding one another; listening to one another; fighting and forgiving one another; above all love and respect one another. The great leaders of the world stood on grounds that were beyond themselves. Their lives were imperfect yet they sought perfection. Their eyes and mind were not limited to the four square walls or a few city blocks but extended 360 degrees impacting every arc of the world one degree at a time. Yes the eyes of racism burned red like the site scopes on a gun ensuring destruction of their target. Yet beyond the fight for equality they fought for humanity.

While we only focus on the injustice within “the black community” the injustice rolls and gets bigger much like the snowball as it rolls across the uneven snowbound plains. Somewhere at any given time a human being, be it an infant to the elderly, is suffering from some form of injustice. They are the ones who are ignored by global media like the teenage boy that was suffocated by officers in a mall; the baby that’s beaten to death because he or she won’t stop crying; the heavyset girl who’s teased and kills herself from diet pills; the unsolved murders that faded away in the media and the family still has no closure; human trafficking and the list goes on…

I’m just tired actually exhausted that the lynchings have not stopped. We have just found new ways to destroy each other over and over. We destroy each other mentally, physically, emotionally and yes even spiritually.

Growing up an only child I often wondered why only have one. Then when I heard people say they didn’t want children I thought why not? But as I grow and the world changes I do understand one and none. Now as a parent I think ‘how am I going to protect my child from a world gone mad and getting madder by the second.’  I can lay my life down for her but when I’m gone who will be her shield? Will I be able to raise her to be strong enough to stand alone if she has too? Will there be any villagers left that share the values I instill in her so they can unite for strength and survival?

Thoughts overwhelm me and often bring me to tears. The emotional immaturity of many has me just tired. My over analysis of things doesn’t help either.. I guess. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way, at least I hope not. It may change and I’m sure it will but for today this has left me just tired.

© 2014 Soulmuze

Then I Pulled the Trigger

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts
Then I Pulled the Trigger
Then I Pulled the Trigger

For years I wanted to learn how to handle a gun. I guess my curiosity was initially spurred from watching action movies. Then it evolved when I watched the news hearing of police shootings, civilian shootings, children shootings. All those damn shootings must be pretty easy to pull that trigger.

The other day a friend invited me to the gun range. So you know I was all too excited finally I get the chance! I’m practicing my aim with my nerf gun, I know, I know it’s no comparison but hey I would like to hit the target.  My friend handles a gun as part of his profession so he provided my intro to handguns prior to attending the range. Gun handling tips 101 always assume the gun is loaded; keep your finger off the trigger unless you’re ready to pull; don’t point your weapon at anyone unless you’re going to use it on them; don’t anticipate the recoil; most importantly forget what you see in the movies it’s not as easy as it may look… Wait! Hold up, what do you mean it’s not as easy as it looks? People fire off every day, it really can’t be that hard or is it?

I learned the parts of the gun, how to load/unload, point check to determine if it’s loaded, how to aim and shoot. This girl is ready for the range! I even had a study guide like I was going to be tested. Yeah I can do this, piece of cake.

Time to hit the range, Gun for Hire in New Jersey. You can shoot from age 8 and must have a valid id. Bring your own or rent from a variety of rifles to hand guns … wow shooters choice! We go fill out the necessary paperwork, chose a weapon and wait for our turn. As I sit there acting like “I got this” I watch the patrons come and go with rifle bags, gun cases, ammo cases and oh oh, umm… my feelings go from excitement to fear. I’m sweating in a cool room, chewing my gum thinking do u really want to do this? Should I tell my friend I’m scared as hell! What if I shoot myself, him or someone else by mistake? I would never survive jail. Oh geez, wtf, this shit is about to get a little too real for me. Yes I’m a punk!

Yet I am determined to follow through, besides this little adventure does not come cheap and I’m not about to waste his money or our time.

We’re up! We put on the earpiece and goggles head into our port. The smell of gunpowder, zillions of empty shell casings all over the place and people pulling the trigger with ease. Me silently trying not to panic, sorry folks but I’m dramatic by nature. As we start setting up I notice that the gum I was chewing is starting to disintegrate in my mouth! I was so nervous the chemistry in my saliva change and my little piece of chewing gum was breaking down into its components. How weird is that? I discreetly tossed it.

“You go first” he says. ‘Aww damn, really?‘, I’m thinking. Ok here goes. Take my stance, remember the rules, don’t panic, just breath. Two hand grip, finger on the trigger, use the guides on the gun to align my target… Then I pulled the trigger… One off, hot shell casing pops up grazing the wall… ‘Ok I’m good, your turn… No? I have to do this again and again?‘…  Let’s be clear I’m not verbalizing my thoughts. Please I can’t let him know that I want to wimp out and just watch thru the other side of the glass!

Then I pulled the trigger again and again. Time to switch guns, switch the glock 19 for the glock 27. Ok, I’m managing now. I have the 27 double hand grip, finger on the trigger then slowly pull… One shot … Ok this one is a 40 caliber hand gun with greater recoil, definitely too much for me. Thoughts went from head to mouth “It’s your turn I don’t like this piece.” My limit had clearly been reached. His response, “fire again.”  ‘What!?!! Is he not listening to me? Uggg’, so I follow orders lol. Hot shell casings land in my shirt, hit my head as I silently wait for his turn. Feels like forever!!

I watch him shoot, firm grip and focused, hitting the target effortlessly. His facial expression confident, stance solid and comfortable. Clearly, my ability to take on a profession requiring the use of gun is questionable at the moment… My turn again, I step up and handle my weapon, (yes I’m hitting the target most of the time), it is getting a little easier, but when is our time up, why are there so many bullets left in these damn boxes!!! Shell cases popping, hands all sweaty, why is the hour going so slow?

Finally, time’s up!! I go to wash my hands and my chest is red and burning. Guess the scoop neck shirt was not a good choice. That’s was just from the hot shell casings. Can we just throw hot shells at people instead of actually hitting them with the bullets? Yeah I know that’s a dumb idea, and I do accept that some people need to be taken down, period, point-blank.

What an experience. Am I glad I tried it? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. Why? Well why not. We often fear what we don’t understand and cannot control. That being said I will face my fear and learn how to control the weapon. As far as understanding, well that goes far beyond what I can accomplish. I can understand the components of the weapon but will never understand how people can pull that trigger with the intention of taking a life “just because.” I am not talking about the legitimate situations where your life is in danger or saving the life of another. I am talking about those people who shoot because the music is too loud; your look like you might hurt me; you looked at me funny; I ain’t no punk; you were texting in a movie theater; shoot first ask questions later; the wild wild west mentality bap, bap, bap; etc…

I pray for my friend and all the men and women like him who chose professions that require them to be armed. To protect people who really don’t appreciate their efforts; to babysit criminals who still act out in the jails;  our military who go to war for a country that can’t take care of them or their families when all is said and done.

I pulled that trigger, and it wasn’t what I thought it would be. It’s not easy, it’s deliberate. It’s real. Remember when you pull that trigger, you can’t stop that bullet, it’s the ultimate game changer.

© Soulmuze 2014

Ultimate Thresholds, do they truly exist?

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Have you considered your dead end threshold, the ultimate violation (in your eyes) which once that line is crossed there is no turning back.

I, like the rest of the world, had/has/will continue to have my fair of shit thrown at me.  When I think about the wrong done to me which triggered my retaliation I start thinking, is this the justification for evolution… Don’t monkeys throw shit at each other ?… Hmmmm

Don’t get mad, get even… But what happened to do unto others as you would have them to do unto you? … Unless you get off on negative behaviors you may not want to live your life in a spiral of warring with mankind.

The handbook for life is the most unique book ever created and only one is written per person. We each author our own book, creating our own  rules and exceptions on a case by case basis. We determine that final ultimate violation rule that no matter who you are once crossed it’s a done deal. You may as well sell your soul to the devil because that relationship is over…

 Or is it? I think we all have some type of morals, at minimum an ounce, so why do we often ignore that final line? Is it the forgive -forget factor or nobody’s perfect; it will get better if I just do this one thing; acknowledgement of karma; lack of confidence that a better relationship awaits us; are we so caught up in what other people think our actions become determined by society’s view; or do we simply enjoy the pain and humiliation?

Let me clarify, when I say relationship I’m speaking of any type of relationship, this isn’t solely about the intimacy spectrum, it’s every and any relationship. 

Every moment we face this dilemma of managing thresholds and sticking to our personalized life handbook.  No matter how hard we try avoid it, we keep rewriting our thresholds and expanding the exception list. To get what we want we add work-arounds to our personalized handbook,  aligning with someone else’s, over time slowly corrupting the lines. darkening or lightening those areas that once defined your uniqueness and tolerance levels.

We all know that one person who will say “I will never!”, better yet you are that one person who said and will continue to say “Hell no! If that was me… I would never..” (Think about what I just said)…

Replay parts of your life how many times have you or that one friend eaten those words? Not only do we throw the shit we eat it too! Does it make us bad, stupid, immoral, desperate…? No that’s what makes us human. We will judge others for their decisions and justify those same decisions when applied to self.

So do we really have that drop dead ultimate threshold line? One of the most popular tattoos to date is “only God can judge me” oh really now… So why do we ALL have something to say about someone? Our whole entertainment system is designed to fuel opinions, our court system has a judge and jury, the media has their opinion, our parents are our judge until we can stand independently, etc. So do you truly believe only God can judge you?… God gave man the will to make our own decisions which lead to judgment of man by man.

Until the end-of-days arrive we will judge each other be it right or wrong.

We will adjust that threshold even though we know better because we need to either satisfy ourselves or please the masses.

Ultimate thresholds, do they truly exist?

© Soulmuze 2013

My Brother…Sey

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Words cannot adequately describe how priceless my brother has become to me.  Sounds strange? Well it was to me when I first discovered I had not one but two! I lived 35 years of my life believing I was an only child. Never truly feeling like I belonged with the family in which I was placed, yet grateful for the care I received.

I think back at the gaps, emptiness and differences I experienced no longer with resentment but with better understanding and seeking to gain more closure within myself. The brave woman who gave me life made sure never to forget me when she had to let me go. She physically released me yet kept me close to her heart. As she gave life to my siblings she made sure to place me in their hearts as well.

My mum had to let me go to ensure that I received the best that life had to offer without malice, or abandonment from my biological father (who embraced my brothers without a second thought).

My eldest brother harvested all that my mum embedded in him of me. As soon as he was able he set on a journey to find me and did just that. Traveling from the United Kingdom to the United States to unite with me…a sister he only knew from the images mum could describe since she only had me in her care from birth to age 3 with little to no photographs. His quest to find his older sister was greeted with tears, fears, hesitation then was wrapped in undeniable love.

Thirteen years after our initial encounter, only seeing each other four times within those years I cannot describe how much love I have for him. To see us together you would never know how distant our lives were.  He’s everything I dreamed a brother would be and more. A phenomenal family man and I am forever grateful to him for giving me a piece of his heart and mending a piece in mine.

Written with unconditional love to you my brother, Sey, you connected the branch on my tree of life…

© Soulmuze 2013

Branches on your tree of life

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

I have heard many times that our lives are mapped at conception much like the growth of a tree. As our roots begin to grow, our life branches are created. We choose a branch in the hopes of a sturdy path but if its weak we double back to the trunk of the tree to find a new branch, a new path. The branches may have some similarities so you may find yourself doing the same thing but those similarities doesn’t always yield the same results.

If the branch is weak and cannot hold the weight of your desires it breaks and you have to start from the base and make your way up.

If the branch is strong you get all of your desires but it doesn’t guarantee that you are content. Why? Because the branch is just hanging out there with no true connection… Like a dangling participle. Many people like that as it allows them full control and an apparent drama free existence.

Yet we were not designed just to dangle, just let someone swing on a vine until it breaks. From the beginning of time whether you believe in evolution or God everything was created to have a connection, a purpose, a link to extending existence. That existence, that indelible mark that continues to keep you connected as you transition from a physical existence to a spiritual one.

It’s not just about having children to tag them with your family name which they can change. It’s about creating a connection through pairing, allowing a bird to build a nest, a squirrel to hide their food, or even a cat to escape danger in your tree.

Take a look at your life… Are you creating connections? Sincere ones. Do you have the one who will hold you when you are having nightmares? One who will listen to you rant and rave? Share your darkest secrets or intimate desires without judgement but will consider sharing the execution? The one who will clean the gook from you eyes, the crud from your nose?

Hope your tree of life has honest supporting connections.

(C) Soulmuze 2013

Take a look at yourself…Priceless

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

I was thinking about the things my mother said you know the stuff that sticks when you’re trying not to listen.  I thought about the choices I made, the people I surround myself with then suddenly my thoughts went deeper. You know into the part of your subconscious where you throw all the things you can’t or don’t want to accept. At first I thought I’m clearly having a melt-down, but then I said I need to take a look at ME. Why? Because there are aspects of me, my life and my values that don’t seem to fit the “norm,” (whatever that is). Is it me? Am I missing something? Am I so abnormal? I mean I’m an immigrant to the United States, they called us “Resident Aliens” until we became “Naturalized Citizens”, but am I still an Alien? (These name tags add to our f’up society, why can’t we just be human beings?)…

My subconscious, who I named ColorfulSpirt, said to me:

What is it that drives your likes, your taste in men, choice in friends, the colors you choose? What do you think will complete you? What do you need to close that gap that has you wearing that perfected smile which is often far from genuine to heal the wound that no amount of ointment or band aids can cover…”I’m ok” is not a cure all, it’s a postpone all as you deny all…

My reply:

ColorfulSpirit, I just don’t know anymore. I have reinvented myself, taken failures to make them successes, tried to listen more, be loyal, giving, reasonable, honest, stronger… Yet it seems the reinvention quickly becomes obsolete; my strength is failing; my loyalty, giving and honesty is often abused; the weight on my shoulders make my knees buckle and my heart ache.

ColorfulSpirit:

Well you gave yourself the name Soulmuze and that was not a random decision. You searched within yourself for a name that would define your essence.

  •  “Soul” because of your sense of identity, spiritual and emotional nature in which you will leave an immortal mark on anyone or anything you touch.
  •  “Muze” because of your nature of self-reflection, a guiding spirit, a source of inspiration.
  • The ‘Z’ replaces the ‘S’ in Muze to represent the fact that there is no one exactly like you.

 As a child you were always viewed as different, you accepted that difference, you worked thru it, and used it to become the woman you are today. Your destiny is to be the woman you are and no matter how long the path or the branch on the tree of life you will get what is yours and yours alone. Differences built both positive and negative in this world, so don’t allow any to tear down the woman you worked so hard to be!

 Well, ColorfulSpirit was and is always enlightening. We often ignore and de-value our subconscious, but when we step back and take a look at ourselves we find the lost treasures of who we are, what makes us unique and valuable. Even if no one else acknowledges your worth you should never let go of it… priceless.

© Soulmuze 2013

 

Silence…The longest journey

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

The power,  the need for self-expression. Everything we do is an art, an outlet of expressionism. What isn’t spoken, is painted, is danced, is put to music, is worn, is acted…

Yet we are on the longest journey of silence. Many of us fear the lack of acceptance or understanding by others so we are silent…muted.

‘We have freedom of speech,’ so they say, as long as it is confined within our respective domains.

‘We have freedom of religion,’ so they say, as long as it adheres to societal standards.

‘We have freedom of expression,’ so they say, as long as we don’t offend a particular group of people.

“We have the freedom of silence,” so I say, for that is the longest journey we endure from the cradle to the grave.

As infants we cry too much, too loud yet how will you know our needs?

As toddlers we talk too much but why do you tell us to use our words?

As adolescents we are too nosy, inquisitive, too much attitude but how do we begin to learn about life and why don’t you teach us to respond better?

As adults we think we know it all but we are always being challenged so how do we stand against those who are wrong?

As lovers we want too much closeness, intimacy, romance but isn’t that part of love?

As elderly we share our past repeatedly but how do you expect to learn and prepare for your future?

We want to silence one another because we can’t be bothered, not interested, heard it all before … If our ancestors allowed themselves to stay silent would we be here?

Should we have silenced our grass roots political activists, educators, inventors, artists, poets, etc.?

If our parents silenced their desires would you be here  today?

Our failure to express is creating our inability to express.

We are silenced so often that when we need to break it our messages risk distortion. We become destructive, attacking fueling the catalyst of negative empowerment.

When we are done we continue on the longest journey of silence.

Internalizing our feelings, scrambling our minds, altering our auras becoming cold and dark.

We smile to please but harbor so much resentment for one another.

We say that we ‘love’ but how can we love unconditionally with the baggage trapped in our hearts as a result of silence.

Silence…the longest journey, the most deafening sound and always the champion.

 At what point do we stop being afraid to share our feelings, stop being afraid of rejection.

For me, I share the journey of silence. I break it with those who care to hear which is few and far between. I welcome those who want to break their silence with me for with each break in that journey I heal, learn, grow and lend more than just an ear but an open, cleaner heart.

© Soulmuze 2012

L-O-V-E versus L-U-V…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

We all create our own definition of the word love. It’s often misused, abused, unappreciated and disrespected. If love was a person he/she would have scars all over their body from repeated murder-suicide attempts and be exhausted from reincarnation.

For those who believe, we were provided with a true definition of love, based on a foundation of sacrifice, unselfishness and forgiveness. 1 Corinthians 13 Apostle Paul teaches us that our spiritual gifts are invaluable without the foundation of love.  No matter what translation you use it’s still the same:

Love is patient, kind, rejoices with truth, bears all, believes all, hopes all,

is never ending.

Love is not braggadocios and certainly not  competition.

Being of the flesh with distorted views we naturally fail to build and maintain this solid foundation. We may give one part but not the other, why? We are self-serving individuals who only will give to get immediate satisfaction! We want it all and if we can’t get it from one we will snip a piece here, snatch a piece there and schmooze a piece everywhere else.   Despite acquiring all these pieces they still don’t create the whole so we continue an unending cycle of piecemeal behavior.  We are so caught up in societal greed trying to get as much as we can, and are blurred.  When we do have a whole piece we can’t see clearly. Driven by all the wrong things (which seemingly appear to be right) to the point that when our corrective lenses kick in its too late because it’s gone and the damage may be irreparable. What next? Back to the cycle we are most familiar, safe, non-committal and affords us the greatest control… or so we think…piecemeal.

L-O-V-E versus L-U-V … Much like our personalized definition of the word our spelling isn’t any different. From my view the spelling dictates the meaning as well. When you are involved with a person and he/she writes ‘luv you’ or ‘luv always’ does it have the same effect as ‘love you’ or ‘love always’?…Look at it… think about it…

Some will argue it’s only the spelling. Really?… Well let’s look at common everyday words: there, they’re, their; hare, here, hear, hair; some, sum; know, no; to, too, two… These words sound the same, spelled differently and clearly have different meanings. So why would anyone think l-u-v means the same as l-o-v-e?

L-U-V is the safe word. Used for acquaintances and the like. When someone writes this to you it’s an indication of where you stand in that relationship. In rare cases it’s sincere but for most it is what it is:  non-committal, arm’s length, you better manage your expectations in that relationship …

L-O-V-E the word of power, commitment, dedication! Used for something or someone that is real to you, doesn’t mean you are real to them, but you are hoping it’s mutual… When we sign a card to our parents, spouse, mate, lover, best friends, children… and spell out love there is no doubt in their mind of your definition… In some cases it will be spelled love but mean luv, goes back to saying what it takes to get what you want… Here we are focusing on the real meaning! That word you read in an email, text, card, note, that will send chills up and down your spine, make your heart flutter, bring a smile of hope to your face if you share the same feeling or it can make those fine hairs stand up on your back because it’s not reciprocal and you need to find a way to manage the situation, run for your life.

When I receive a card I may not remember the verses but I do remember how it’s signed. Recently I received a hand written note, I remember the brightly colored ink it was written in and it was signed L-O-V-E. May mean nothing to you but it meant a lot to me.

I am often a giving and selfless person to a fault, as I call it my blessing and my curse. Negative life experiences have left me with so much baggage yet I am still willing to take that leap of faith… just to end up flat on my face over and over again. Makes me laugh and cry as I write. So far I haven’t given up but I do become weak and disillusioned, however, I believe in the Most High, I know that those who intentionally give bitter fruit will get rotten fruit in return.

Prior to the digital age we gave more thought to words. We knew the value of not only the spoken word but the written as well. So, where has it all that gone? Why we are so emotionally disconnected from one another?

L-O-V-E versus L-U-V. We play on words like we play on one another’s feelings. This one word can make or break a nation so why haven’t we learned to respect its power? Could it be that we don’t respect our selves, relationships or the feelings of others? Is it just a silly game as we masquerade to get the perceived next best thing?… (Did you catch the musical reference to songs performed by Stephanie Mills and George Benson?)…

For me I luv many, and love few. There is no doubt when I present a feeling that it’s real! I don’t need to falsify to gain short term satisfaction when I desire the long term blessings good, honest, sincere love can bring.

The fruit on my tree remains sweet despite the few rotten pieces I have received in between. I am not without fault in the play on words but I have learned. Whether it is in this life or another L-O-V-E will always triumph over L-U-V.

*Inspired by Minister S. Emmanuel Epps’ sermon on “Making a Love Connection” delivered at The Park Avenue Christian Church,  August 12, 2012, in addition to the love and luv  I have and continue to give/receive..

 

© Soulmuze 2012

The strength of a woman…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts, Poetry

It amazes me that in this day and age men view every woman the same. At the same time men do not like being grouped in the “all” or “every”.

As human beings we cannot mature beyond stereotypes within our gender? Regardless of who was created first, men and women were designed to be strong. That strength whether it is as individuals or a unit should not be viewed in a negative light.

I was told by more than one man, of differing races I might add, that I am ‘too strong’ and it can be ‘intimidating’ to a man…Really?… I should consider ‘dumbing’ myself down and this way I would be marriage material… WTF?…

Let me breakdown this concept as best I can for my own edification:

1. The strength of a single woman is a bad thing

2. Women who are married are playing or played dumb to get/keep their man

Aren’t women supposed to be the anchor of the household? Aren’t women supposed to enrich their mate, support him when the ‘man’ tares him down? Aren’t women designed to nurture, go out in the fields when the man can’t?

Did I misread the history books? Did I misinterpret the foundation lessons in church? Am I missing something in the translation of ‘man cleaves onto his wife?’ Guess they cut out the part that says cleave to your wife but her strength must be restricted…

Did your mother dumb herself down when your daddy walked out, was occupied with other women or working shift on-top of shift to make ends meet?

Some women choose to be single, with or without children.

Then there are others who didn’t choose or want that path, when life thrusts it upon her she had no choice… failed relationships, failed marriage, ignorant/selfish prospects… yet she handled it.

Those who chose the path of ‘I can do it alone, I don’t want or need a man’ should not be viewed the same as those who have/had no choice in the matter.

The strength of a woman is not a curse but a blessing. Not every woman can rise above adversity and overcome life’s hardships. Women are always dealt a crappy hand but yet when you need us we are your ‘ride or die.’ We are the fools that forgive your indiscretions. We are the ones that support your wildest dreams. We are the ones you can cry in the dark with and will never question your manhood. We are the whores if we take on more than one man, yet you are a ‘G’, the ‘Mf Man’ the more women you are banging out…we are the ones left holding the bag and tagged as being ‘too independent’, ‘too damn strong’

Would I be marriage material had I left my family on the street? How about not taking care of my siblings? Hmmm, not educating myself? Better yet lay up on that cold steel table and allow someone to dig out the life in my womb because I chose poorly?

Men, do you give thoughts to the comments you make about women? Women should think before they speak, shouldn’t men do the same? Men want a strong women but if you’re considered stronger than them there’s an issue?

The strength of a woman should not be viewed in a silo. You should look at her whole being.

No matter how strong I appear to be or how much I hold my own I know how and when to let a man be a man. I don’t have to ‘dumb myself’ down’ nor am I a ‘Queen Bee’.

To be a Queen you must have a King. To be a King you must have a Queen.

A kingdom of weak rulers will perish under the rubble. A kingdom ruled by those who don’t know when to step back and let the other handle their position will not stand… evidenced by the lack of family units.

Those who read this may say I’m overly dramatic, or blowing this out of proportion. That’s okay, because I know what I’m made of.

Strong women fuel strong men. If my strength or women like me are too much for you, you’re not ready for a woman… a true ride or die chic.

Keep your little girls who will stroke your ego, sex you up, and be your trophy.

Don’t ever get sick and expect her to clean you when you can’t do it yourself. Or challenge the doctors when they poke and prod you with experimental medication. Or won’t help you look for a job because you to were laid-off.

The strength of a woman is not to be taken lightly or viewed negatively. The strength of a woman got you here regardless of your daddy being around.

I speak for these women:  the missing rib that completes you, defines the village, the strength when others try to destroy you. The women who loves  all of you, not just the tool swinging between your legs.

Dumb down + be less intimidating + be weaker  = less of the woman you are born to be. 

Thank you to those men who shared their true opinions of me. I pray you never have daughters and if you do you share your concepts of women with them. Let’s not forget your nieces, cousins, God-children. Build a nation by keeping women by your feet, instead of your side.

Lady in Waiting

I am the Lady in Waiting, strong and intimidating, who will stand by her man,

Empowering him, caring for him and knowing when to fall back.

He will love me for all that I am and I him.

He will embrace my strength and respect me as a woman

I am the Lady in Waiting who was taught strength by a woman

Given talents by her Creator

I am the Lady in Waiting who will be the crown for her King

When the rest of the world has turned their back

I will be the one to give him strength

We will cleave onto one another

Evenly yoked for we know the position each one must hold

I am the Lady in Waiting

A woman with a heart to love, arms to hold

And strength to persevere

© Soulmuze 2012