Month: March 2012

WOW…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

No matter how prepared you think you are, you always seem to get caught out there.  Every time it happens you think ‘WOW! I should have known better’ or  ‘WOW! What the hell was I thinking?!’

When caught in the “WOW” we  tend to be emotionally confused, should we cry, laugh, bang our head against the wall or just beat someone’s ass! All of your emotions come into play at one time and you feel like a deer in headlights…! You know the saying “the more things change the more they stay the same,” I would like to think it’s not true but so said so done.

Then they say “change the players, change the game.” WOW, now that sounds like a plan, the players change, new strategy and guess what the same outcome. “WOW” Guess we missed the loophole in the clause… the mentality of the players! It’s like the old commercial “oops I should’ve had a V-8” as you pop yourself in the head (dated myself with that one).

It seems that no matter our experiences some feel that it is fitting to continue with the same behaviors. With each experience there should be some positive growth but instead many find a way to justify their behavior, making the wrong seem right, holding on to the same mentality. Now, how much hurt or disappointment do you have to distribute or receive before you realize that you should reconsider your behavior… thought process? Everyone else’s experience is not yours and do you believe you will have a lifetime of ‘free passes’? Karma is real. Being an avid attendee at church doesn’t eradicate your sins. It’s your actions that dictate your standing, please believe it!

These WOW moments are coming fast and furious yet people don’t want to change their thought process. Look at the news: racial justification for murder; women being beaten and abused; sex trafficking of children; our judicial system with laws that are modified by the color of your skin; our children can tell you every sexual position and are having babies like rabbits, they don’t have examples of solid relationship, the value of marriage, family or appreciate the value of their community; and so on and so on…

Getting caught in the WOW is really disturbing and really making me become more disillusioned with mankind overall. We are far from perfect and are born with the gift of choice. Why do we continue with the same thinking that lends itself to the same negative behavior?  WOW, are we all just insane? (lol).  I clearly understand “when people say if I knew then what I know now.” So if you know it now, than act on it now, is the past behavior that sweet that you must continue to fuel it? Changing your mentality may lead you to creating sweeter moments beyond your imagination, making a small positive change that may be big to another person or the next generation.

Why do we belittle other people’s feelings? I’m so confuzzled by that too! You may not agree or understand how they feel, but damn don’t always chalk it up to being dramatic or stupid. Someone told me I was a fool to ever think that things will ever be better or I would ever get better… WOW, well a fool I will be, since it’s better than being an all out selfish asshole. Not everyone in the world let’s things roll like water off a duck’s back. I’m still hoping that one day I will have better faith in mankind, but based on what I read, hear and feel, it won’t be today…

© Soulmuze 2012

Living the dream!

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

The other day I asked my friend “How are you doing?”  The response, “Living the dream!” I chuckled and we continued our conversation. Since then those words have been echoing in my head forcing me to question, “Am I living the dream?”

Every way I twist the question the answer is “ABSOLUTELY YES!”. For a minute or two my answer was leaning towards a strong no. However, the more I thought about it I realized that I am. We often default to no because we have so many dreams that go unfulfilled. We focus on what we didn’t accomplish, what we didn’t purchase, where we didn’t travel, etc. You know all the things that do not truly define what we need for our existence. The dreams that are fulfilled are defined first by what we need. IF our wants align with our needs we are even more satisfied.

I really needed to think this thru, so I created a short list of my wants versus needs:

Wants:

I want to travel with my family

I want to drive a nice care

I want to help those less fortunate.

I want to have a successful business

I want to create a positive legacy

I want retire early

I want to live long enough to see my youngest complete her education and start a career

Needs:

I need to keep a roof over my family’s head.

I need to keep food on the family table.

I need to keep clothes on my family’s back.

I need to work.

I need to appreciate the sacrifices of others.

I need to be patient.

I need to keep and always have faith.

I need to spend quality time with my family and those few true blue friends.

What’s truly amazing all my needs are being meet and they help satisfy my wants. Let me repeat, that was my short list, but at a glance how’s that for living the dream! I have so many unfulfilled dreams but they are not to be considered “deferred” for as Langston Hughes wrote:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore–

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over–

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?”

My dreams will be fulfilled whether I do it, my family or my community. You see we need to expand dream building and fulfillment beyond ourselves, encompass your village. If one person fulfills a dream that you weren’t able to accomlish celebrate because it didn’t die! If you think about your ancestors, or better yet the movie Roots. Each generation made it one step further in fulfilling the dream. Where one failed the next picked up and moved forward. Epic journeys ran like a race. Each person charged with completing a certain distance then passing the baton to the next to move forward; the magic of creating legacies, each building on the success of the one prior.

Every day we see the light. Every night we see the darkness we have completed another step on Jacob’s ladder.

Who would have thought the simple 3 word response would have stimulated so much thought and re-evaluation of oneself. We also learn in those words the value of surrounding yourself with positive people.

On your darkest day, in the darkest hour, the right words can give you so much strength and power.

Yes, I am living the dream! Nightmares are only temporary; they will not define or deter me from sharing my talents and celebrating those who live theirs!

In the end the only secret you keep is immortality, or is it?

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

We all have secrets both good and bad. Are keeping secrets healthy? Are they necessary? Well the good secrets are okay since the intention is to reveal them with a smile.

We often think what we don’t know won’t hurt us but when truth comes to light it’s a whole new ball game.

More often than not we think secrets or deception is the best way. Who are we truly protecting? No one. Who do we hurt? Everyone. Secrets are like untreated wounds the longer they stay the worse it becomes. They fester, get infected and you can lose a part or all of yourself.

Often times we keep secrets to avoid hurting those we love. If we truly love would we have put ourselves in a position to have a hurtful secret? Hurt is hurt. Pain is pain. Keeping information does not cancel out the emotional impact. As a matter of fact the longer you keep a secret the greater the pain it can cause.  Time helps us cope with all wounds so why delay the process.

Parents don’t hide truths from your children. Say a prayer then share. You set the stage for what children will do when they become adults. You teach your children not to lie yet you keep vital information from them. Then in death it is revealed and the scars you leave behind can never be addressed. You are no longer physically present to help them understand the what’s and why’s… irreparable damage

The importances of secrets lead to the creation of various government agencies. They are designed to protect us from what we don’t know, to keep us controlled and from overall mass hysteria that may result from knowing our impending doom, mMakes sense? Despite those agencies people are still losing their minds over conspiracy theories; plots to wipe out an entire race; satanic orders, etc. When 9/11 occurred secrets were revealed too late which could have lead to saving the lives of thousands. This is all speculation, but you never know and we never will… or will we?

If we spent less time with our head in the sand we may be better equipped to handle threats of terrorism, Mother Nature’s outbursts or man’s mistakes when they attempt to play God.

Again, these are just thoughts that run through my mind with no definitive answers. If you are a believer of God you know your book of law whether you call it The Bible, Torah, Quran, etc., revels the beginning, the middle and the ‘end’ or rebirth of days. We have all heard of the ‘lost books’ which are said to be hidden in an undisclosed (secret) location. If they are hidden they are not lost and we are being deprived of valuable life lessons.

Wearing masks and providing selective information yet we are always being  ‘real and honest.’ Our judicial system works on the premise of ‘telling the whole truth and  nothing but the truth’, kind of ironic isn’t it. Guess it actually translates to what you think is true to you and not actually what is. Hence, the wrongful conviction of the innocent and freedom of the guilty (often those who are charged to protect us).

No matter how you slice it over time truths are revealed so the only person you fool in the end is yourself.

Is the only secret you take to your grave is that of immortality? Do good deeds to help mankind, establish a foundation of positive values, train our children in the way they should go, give honestly, talk openly… These behaviors create a legacy and become a practice that can be repeated generation after generation and this I believe is the secret to immortality…

© Soulmuze 2012

Live your dash

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

Today marks the assassination of Christopher Wallace aka Biggie Smalls. I can remember the phone call that rattled my slumber. As fresh as the gun powder, as hot as the bullet, news travelled Biggie was shot. Part of his crew lived on Washington Avenue (Clinton Hill side) in my girlfriends’ building so before the news wire was out we knew what went down.  

Biggie left marks like you could never imagined. Every man, woman, child of all ages knew and still know Big Poppa!  Gone at 24 Biggie left a mark most can’t accomplish by 50. He created classics, left a legacy, his family well taken care of and despite the drama his name is intact. Biggie lived his dash.

I always heard it’s not the day you’re born, it’s not the day you died, it’s what you do between those dates that matter… the dash. Our paths cross people of all walks of life whether it’s a mere glance or social intercourse we do leave an impression.

As I think about my life to date I ask myself, how have I lived my dash this far:

Have I hurt more than I’ve healed?

 Have I taken more than I’ve given?

Have I talked more than I’ve listened?

Have I hated more than I’ve loved?

If I was called at this very moment I would be comfortable with my dash:

 I learned and continue to learn from my mistakes

I apologize to those I have hurt

I love  those who love me and sometimes even those who don’t

I often give without expectation

I appreciate what is given

I try to be honest;

I try to help those that have less than I

I give my family a legacy of strength and determination

… Yes I am comfortable with my dash and this is just the short list.

 This by no means says I’m ready to go for there are still things I want to see and do. I will continue to feed my dash with positive thoughts and deeds.

As long as I am gifted with time I will live in the light that I was blessed with at birth.

You.. live your dash, remember how your loved ones who are not longer here lived theirs, they set the foundations for which you stand. Live your dash…soulfully yours

© Soulmuze 2012

Thank you…

by Soulful Storytellers, LLC, posted in Eclectic thoughts

As I listen to Estelle’s “Thank You” I’m thinking wow in 4 minutes and 47 seconds she has captured my feelings on past relationships.

More often than not, the ones that mean something to you end as a result of one of you not being enough for other. Can’t really say who’s to blame but instead of gracefully writing off the chapter some find  it easier to cheat. When relationships end on a cheating note each person questions what they brought or didn’t bring to the table. Too much of one thing, not enough of another so a third party is pulled in to fill the gaps. Ultimately the gaps that we’re attempting to fill actually widen and become more complex.

Relationships can’t be handled like juggling balls in a circus act. It requires focus and dedication. I don’t like to use the term work, then it take on a laborious context. It’s an exercise of patience, empathy, compromise, just plain old wholesome love. Any dissenting behavior in this exercise leads to failure.

“Thank you for making me the woman I am…” croons Estelle

Think about that sentence. Look at yourself, then your friends. What are their views on relationships? Now let’s change one word…

Thank you for making me the “man” I am…

Yes, men are victims too…

In many cases that ‘thank you’ is pretty damn harsh. Thank you for making me miserable, a bitch, selfish, disillusioned, untrusting, non-committal… What do you say, ‘you’re welcome, anytime, it was a pleasure to hurt you…’

How many people do you know who refuse to be in a monogamous relationships, just can’t be bothered with the opposite sex, nasty, gold digging, switched to their own team, etc, etc. Do you truly believe the behavior or view of relationships evolved without provocation?

It’s hard for me to believe they were born that way, well maybe some, but come on the majority, really? Our views on relationships are defined by our parents, our childhood, our environment and mostly our experiences.

When we repeatedly have bad relationships we use them as a foundation for the next (this applies to both platonic and intimate relationships).  It’s like transitioning from an open road innocent and free; to adding cat eyes, just to help you see in the dark; adding guard rails, don’t want to go off sides; adding yield signs, think I need to pull back a little; adding stop signs, pump my brakes; adding stop lights, alright now something is not right; then when all the safety gear fails the full wall is resurrected, eventually shutting down the road altogether.

It’s important to look in before looking out. Consider what you have done to enable the negativity in the relationships. Review your choices carefully. Maybe the compromises you made to have someone in your life were not good for you. Desperate times do not always call for desperate measures.

Now..

Let’s reverse everything, make the Thank you positive

Thank you for making recognize what I should not compromise on
Thank you for making me stronger
Thank you for helping me recognize my own faults
Thank you for making me a better woman or man for the next one
Thank you for making me see I need to love me

Our first instinct is always negative and that’s okay, yet it’s important to pull out lessons learned about ‘you’. While you will always have a slightly bitter taste in your mouth for those failed relationships remember not to forget what they taught you… remembering makes that failure a success for you!

© Soulmuze 2012